30th April, 1997. It almost seems like a different century now, doesn't it? (Well, it was a different century, actually - ed.) You know, cricket on the village green... warm beer and stale Melton Mowbray pies... old maids cycling through the mist to communion... Irishmen being shot on sight for having green items of clothing on... How things have changed since those Halcyon days. It almost makes you wish for a return to those good old British values - decency, honesty, integrity - you're out of sugar Mrs. Wilberforce? Come in and fill your boots me old son, we've more than enough to spare. Am I alone in wishing for a return to that more gentle era with its reassuring certainties, family values and value family packs of bourbon biscuits. Come back Mr. Major - all is forgiven!
But now look at the place. Innocent Guatemalans being machine gunned down in the streets of Hemel Hempstead, a crazed lunatic at number ten sending the nation's youth off to torture and abuse the innocent people of Iraq, crazed lunatic imams preaching their distorted gospel of hatred and violence to a willing audience of alienated youths who see the land which protects their right to religious freedom and allows them to live without the fear of limb amputation should they transgress sharia law as depraved and decadent...and is if that wasn't bad enough, Chelsea are bloody champions...
I realise that this article contains sentiments that could be interpreted as inflaming religious hatred and consequently, I will be closing down this blog for good and handing myself over to the authorities. I would like to thank everyone who has ignored this site over the last year or so and would just like to apologise for any offence caused to anyone at anytime by anything I may have said or considered saying on this site. I realise now that I am a misguided individual who should do society a favour by shutting up and committing myself to the care of the state where I know I will be looked after by that nice Mr. Blair and his lovely wife Cheerie. Thank you Emperor, I really don't deserve you.
Goodbye. I'll miss you.