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Friday, 13 October 2006

Girl With An 8-Track Cartridge...

That's right! What better way to enjoy the cock skills of some near-mythic Master Shagger indulging in his hour-long devotion to cunnilingus as he prays religiously at the temple of my punany, before pounding me senseless for several hours with his multi-functional cock than a nice blast of Clapton? Particularly when he was with Blind Faith. Blimey, it's a turn on! I have it on 8-Track cartridge you know - aren't they brilliant? [For younger readers - most of you, I'm guessing, as anyone with even a vaguely developed mind wouldn't be seen *dead* reading my astonishingly bad sex phrases like "multi-functional cock" or "temple of punany". Well, what did you expect? Belle de Jour?? - the idea of 8-Track Cartridges was that they would play continuously in a figure of eight fashion - on and on and on, ad infinitum - a bit like my puerile sex witterings, in fact....]So you won't miss a second of the ginormous seeing to you're being given by some hefty, well-hung Best Boy because there's no need to get up halfway through the LP to turn the tape over as you would with a conventional compact cassette - Corking, eh?

Now all I need is an 8-Track Cartridge Machine to play it on....

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  1. Jifdump's probably got one - an 8 track machine I mean.

  2. I think I've got one fitted in my head. That's why Two Little Boys plays ad nauseum in the dark hours...
    Oooooooh the agony...

  3. .....funny that Hster - I have the one about someone's pinched me winkles going through mine...

    (....I bought them from Fine Fare...)

  4. Sorry I own a record player but not a 8 track player.

  5. I didn't know that's why they were invented.

    No wonder they never took off - surely one side of Tales From Topographic Oceans is enough for anyone.

    (There's graphic and there's TOPOgraphic).

  6. Those 8 Tracks just kept on going. What more could a girl wish for? Yummy.

  7. I used to go out with someone whose tape player played one side and then the other of a tape repeatedly. Like an 8-track, or like a car stereo.

    Not that he needed it, like.

  8. "Jifdump's probably got one - an 8 track machine I mean".

    Funny you should say that, RoMo.

    Jifdump has got an 8 track machine, and it's made by Fostex.

  9. You never have to turn over with an 8 track. Just stay in the same position. And, they never ask you if you faked your orgasm.

    I've never done that.

  10. Aah Fostex - you can't go wrong with a Fostex - they defined my childhood.

  11. Isn't it Spiral Scratch by the Buzzcocks where the recording continued to the run out groove and continued forever unless you lifted the stylus from the vinyl? I believe there may be other examples of this device. I wonder if this would aid the sexual stamina of Mr Swipe's readers.

    Of course this is no good if you have one of those fancy new-fangled automatic turntables thta decides for you when the record is over, but it just goes to show that being middle class isn't all good news.

    And as for these compacted disc digital devices, it doesn't work on those either. They'll never catch on, mark my words.

    I too have a Fostex tape machine but it is only 4-track. Never had any complaints mind you.

    (apart from about the sex.)

  12. Yes, I still have the old faithful 'Fostex' but it's not a cartridge player! just to destroy the myth? but I do remember riding in someones car years ago and they had a 8track cartridge player in the motor! blimey, how long ago was that? my mind fogs when I go beyond certain memory points? you bastard Bob! you made me feel old?? in a humourous way that is!!!

  13. all's quiet on the pludcust front?

  14. "...the recording continued to the run out groove and continued forever unless you lifted the stylus from the vinyl?"


    Same with side two of Sgt. Pepper. One of the mad theories that was abroad at the time was that if you nrecorded it on a reel to reel recorder and played the "secret message" backwards, the fabs were supposedly singing "we fuck you like supermen..."

    What an appropriate piece of trivia that is, eh? Combining as it does out-moded domestic recording apparatus and astonishing feats of sexual stamina....

    (I hope you got all that Channel 4 bods....)

  15. "all's quiet on the pludcust front? "

    Thanks Jifster - I was just waiting to see how long it would take anyone to notice their absence. Obviously everyone else has been able to fill the massive void no Bobcasts has left in their lives somehow, and I can safely assume from this that you Jister are what remains of my audience. You may as well just email me a playlist and I'll see if I've got any of the things you put on it - save you having to fast-forward through the stuff you don't like. Let me know when you're ready for another one and I'll have it personally beamed into your living room - in fact, I shall be renaming it the Robert Swipe Show Bobcast by appointment to HRH Jif Dump Alliance. Unless of course you'd rather me call it something else altogether, J?

    Do let me know either way.

  16. I'm still awaiting the 'hippie Bobcast' where's that gone?? I can help you out with songs (if I have them?) JDA mp3 a speciality! hmmm...