Exam Helpline

Hi Swipesters!


I know it's a bit late for all those of you who took exams this year, but don't be too upset. Just pass on this number:

0808 100 8000

...to your little brother or sister and they'll reap the benefit when it's their turn to sit those awful GCSEs!

Basically, the new helpline is being introduced to help the push for ever-higher pass rates. Despite this year's improvement of the pass rate by around 6% There are increasing fears that despite the best efforts of pupils and teachers, next year there may still be some pupils who will fail some of their exams. To this end, the new Exam helpline is being introduced from next June. The system aims to tap into contemporary pupils' keen interest in new technologies - particularly portable phones - and will allow students to speak directly from their mobiles to those best placed to help them. It is hoped that any students having difficulty during an exam will take the opportunity to call - or even text - the helpline. Examiners are bracing themselves for a deluge of enquiries along the lines of "I dunno wot da ansa 2 nummer 6 is, innit? Is it a,b,c or da uvver one, or whatever".

In an unrelated development, a statue of the Schools Minister, Lord Adonis, is due to be unveiled in Whitehall today.


Love on y'all,


Bob