Bobcast #73: Robot...

Listen to/download Bobcast #73, an exclusive preview of the new Swipe LP, "Robot", in its entirety. To download the individual tracks and donate, visit the SwipeCore site...

xxx
Swipe

Changesonebob...

Well, what else can you do when you're bereft of ideas, your career's stalled and you've been reduced to making up the numbers on Britain's most popular celebrities-learning-to-dance-at-peak-time-on-a-Saturday-night vehicle but....*cash* *in*!!!

Yep, it's greatest hits time again folks - but fear not, oh intrepid punter...this is no simple rehash/reheat/reissue/repackage/repackage slip them into different sleeves/please the press in Belgium Rock 'n' Roll Swindle, oh no - I should cocoa...ho ho ho ho ho ho (...see what I did there? I was pretending to laugh all the way to the bank....)

But seriously, with the extra exposure I'm going to be getting from being on Strictly, Ziggy and I felt it was the appropriate time to overhaul the old Swipe back catalogue, give the old ouevre a sonic makeover and generally make sure that the old songs we knew and loved are ship shape and Bristol fashion for the century ahead. We've got in the best engineers we could afford (...it's amazing what people will do for a set of out of date, forged Luncheon Vouchers in the current economic climate, isn't it?) and they've set about remastering every album so that it will sound even more fabulous in your i-Pod. As an added bonus for all my loyal fans who already have all the original albums, we've put together a splendid compilation of the best bits called Changesonebob, which will feature not only the best-loved songs from my career but a few rare and previously unreleased tracks from the 'lost' albums - Polskie Delicatesy and DaDa DiVa, as well as some weird and wonderful out-takes and a couple of brand new songs!

We'll be posting them up in twos and threes as we complete the remastering process for each album so keep an eye out for the posts here or make a regular visit to the SwipeCore site from whence you'll be able to download all the songs as well as the original albums - all for *absolutely* *free*!!

Right, must dash - they want me to give the once over to the newly restored 'Memory of a Free Subscription to Harper's Bizarre' and the meter's running....

L.U.V. on ya,

Bob

Okay...

...so you didn't go for the movie idea. A shame, really, as you'd have been ahead of the game if you had. Or did I not mention my special gift? I can see into the future, you see. Yes, really. It's one of a few, shall we say, special features I have. Like being able to breathe through my skin. Hence the tights. *Much* better ventilated than your average pair of trews and, as an added bonus, they make for a rather nifty air filter too. Very handy in Los Angeles or Beijing, I'd imagine. And of course, they do show off my incredibly sexy long legs too, which is nice. The two hearts come in handy too. And did I mention the multiple sets of genitalia? No, I don't suppose I did - you probably would have been a bit keener on the movie pitch if I'd led with that now I think of it. Oh well, you live and learn. Mind you, when you're 1.2 light years old (that's several thousand millenia in old money - I lost count after you bastards nailed that beardy bloke up for telling you to get your acts together) you are prone to the odd lapse in concentration.

So, where was I? Oh yes, the old wedding tackle. Well, it's not actually quite as impressive as I maybe suggested earlier. I have just the three sets actually - one of each and a wierd sort of feathery thing that's quite handy for pollination in some of the less developed solar systems - I'd imagine it would probably go down quite well in marine circles here on planet Humanoid too...not that I've ever tried it, you understand. Although I did have a close encounter with a couple of porpoises once that could have got quite interesting if I hadn't had to come up for air. It's the legs - great on land; bloody dangerous underwater, I can tell you. It's quite popular with the Earthlettes too, of course - for obvious reasons - although I did have one bizarre request from a lady of, shall we say, a certain age who wanted me to give her bannisters a quick once over after I'd performed the painful duty on her. Honestly, some people, eh?

So there you have it; that's me. Just your average, common all garden extraterrestrial, really. Brain the size of a minor galaxy, astonishing powers of extra-sensory perception, the ability to see into the future and extraordinarily well hung. Just your standard model really. Oh and I sing too; strange uneartly songs they are; uncanny glimpses of the future that awaits you all, if you would just open up your eyes and see it. A bit like that Carpenters one only with a bit more guitar, obviously. You know the kind of thing...

L.U.V. on ya

xxx
Bob

Out now...

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L.U.V. on y'all,

Bob

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Polski Delikatesy...

I've posted three new tracks up here from what I hope to be another album worth of songs.

This time around, inspired very much by the last chapter of Tim's book (for which, many Thanks btw...) there will be a loose theme to the collection (the various effects of globalization), and Polski Delikatesy seems to have the right mix of mundane exoticism and daftness to be the title of such a hideously overblown conceit! (It also sounds like an old prog rock band name, which can only help...). So, that's the plan and I've sketched out quite a few lyrics and have (again) loose ideas for subjects to write on, which is often half the battle.

The three tracks are already quite varied. The most accessible is probably "England in the Rain". It's another very old song that's been resucitated and amended thanks to the inspiration cited above. The lyric takes the form of a letter from an expat Englander stationed in Bangkok pining for an ex- back in Blighty. I hope that the musical nod to a very familiar piece from the late 70s provides a suitably romantic backdrop to what, I hope, is a quite touching little piece. I was initially thinking of a sort of inversion of the old colonial 'white man's burden' thing - white guy forced by economics to scratch a living thousands of miles from home - but I hope, in the end, it transcends that rather reductive initial design and is just a song of separated and rued lost love.

"(Would You Love Me) If I was Real" is a Madcap discard. It seemed too long and bleak for that collection, but I'm hoping it may be more at home on these more exotically stacked shelves. It fits better here thematically, I hope, because of it's subject matter - the way that we become lonelier, more fragmented selves as technology supposedly brings us closer together.

Finally, "Polski Delikatesy" is just, well, weird shit...

Hope you like them.


L.U.V. on y'all,

Bob

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