Boolean Logic #4665

Hi Swipesters,

Hope the weekend was cool for y'all.

Regular readers will be aware of this feature, my little old celebration of the joys of random blog browsing. This week's trawl through the world of weblogging has revealed a veritable cornucopia of interesting/entertaining blogs. Here, for your delectation is a sample of the best:

First up is Evil Beaver/Ride the Beaver: the official site for Evil Beaver

Sorry if some of you are disapointed that this one doesn't live up to the billing, but I think it's great. I'll leave you to pick sides in what appears to be one helluva dang slanging match. I'm completely neutral in all of this, you understand. All I will say is this: Evie, you are one helluva sly old Beaver, you! My eternal thanks are owed to all those good folks at The UN Security Council who first alerted me to this sorry site.

Next up

Old radios


Not really much to add, so definitive is this site. A must!


Stalinism is less a blog and more a portal to a whole world of cyber leftism. Hey guys - what gives? Are we talik' 'bout a revolution here?

Nest up is Toffeewomble

Lots of good comedy type jackjapery goin' down on novelist and hamster baiter Sean's blog. Keep it real, Seanny boy!

And finally, Once-a-pon-a-time

Click on this baby if you want to enter the mind of one seriouly disturbed individual. Maybe it's just me, but I think this guy's looking at a very long stretch in Belmarsh if he ever acts out any of those saddo teen-angst poems. Or does he really want everyone to die? Go figure...


STOP PRESS:

Just coming through to Swipe Towers on the wires:

THIS

Well, I've been scratching my head on this one for a while, so a big Bob Swipe thank you to Jay-dub for giving such a sensible and reasoned explication of our current occupation of Iraq. Yep, apparently it's all happening so that tedious middle class American nerds can have a hard-on about going out and killing as many Arabs as they like. Well, Jay-dub, I wish you luck out there and I'm sure that your decent American family values will go along way towards winning the battle for hearts and minds.

a browse around this site, written by the people you have so kindly liberated, should give you some powerful motivation to continue the good work you are doing in bringing freedom and democracy to the country.

God bless you, Jay dub.


And love on y'all.





Kaplinsky watch: No 1,453 Monday, 15th August

Attire: Lilac power pants/suit type thing.

Shoes: (?) Matching SMERSH stillettos

Hair: 8.8 on the PCMS (Post-coital/Mussing Scale)

Eyes: Removed? Possibly borrowing someone else's smaller pair?

Last night's motto: "you're hurting my arm" - think Peter Lorre.

Demeanour: Post-coital Sudoku'd to death.

Smile effort estimate: 9.6 %

Turnbull annoyance factor: Full-on.

Kaplinsky watch is a non-profit organisation. To make a donation call 0898 288 666 3777 2666. Together we can stop this degrading, barbaric and pointless blah blah blah.

Booleian logic #2: Heike's Heels

Hi Swipesters!

Second in an occasional series in which your humble scribe scours cyberspace for the pick of world wide web.

This week, a real gem. OK, you all know I was born in 'dear old blighty' and even though I now consider myself a fully paid up member of "Team America", there are still few things that mark me as a true Brit and run through me like the writing in a stick of rock. One is a love for a 'decent cup of tea' - I can't abide the paltry piss-water you yanks throw down your gullets in the mistaken belief that you are drinking tea. The other is a profound and deep seated dislike of the Germans and all things teutonic (this is mainly football related but there are a few war-related themes too). So, imagine my surprise when I found my icy English breast melted by the work of one of the 'master race'. For it is a cold and ignoble heart that could not be charmed by young Heike's lovingly tended homage to all things elevated in the footwear department. I can't really add anything in words but to thoroughly recommend that you totter over to the link opposite and feast your eyes on some of the nicest feet (and legs) this side of Munchengladbach. Oh, and Heike - if you're out there - please feel free to contact the site and maybe we could....you know, hook up and .....if the mood was right and you felt there was something going on between us.....you could.....you know.... walk all over me???

Like the lady says: "UMFRAGE!!"

ENJOY!!


OW!!!!

Boolean Logic - Google Search of the Month

Greetings Swipesters! Due to unprecedented interest in yesterday's posting, I've been literally overwhelmed with enquiries for more Fearne Cotton/fabulous TV sex goddess info. So, never one to shirk hours and hours of futile internet surfing even when there are a thousand and one more important things to do - most pressingly, stopping George W. Bush - I expertly tapped Fearne+Cotton+goddess into a google search and - lo and behold! I came up with this fascinating tidbit of information and a great idea for a new monthly feature all in one go:

Impulse, the UK's favourite body fragrance, is calling for all young women to summon their inner goddess with the launch of its new fragrance range: Impulse Goddess.
To celebrate the inner power and beauty of Goddesses, Impulse has joined forces with a number of female celebs - modern day Goddesses - and Teenage Cancer Trust to auction funky, limited-edition t-shirts emblazoned with empowering Goddess mantras.

Amazing what lengths people will go to for charity, non? The eye still moistens a little when I dwell on the efforts these real-life goddesses are making while you sit there at home surfing the net for soft porn titilation - Shame on you, George! So, I know you're keen to read on. Here are the poetic mots justes ripped from our heroines' heaving breasts (steady George!):

Celebrity Goddess Expressions

Kelli from Liberty X
Gorgeous
Original
Daring
Diva
Extraordinary
Sophisticated
Sexy!
Nice approach there, Kelli. Acronyms always catch my eye when paradin' down the high street.

Holly Valance, singer
"There's a funky Goddess in every girl..."
So true, so true. And she sings too, apparently...

Leah Wood, Ronnie Woods's model daughter
"Goddess - Smile and the whole world smiles with you"

You truly are a model daughter, Leah. Let's hope the Woods's appreciate you.

Tamara Beckwith, LA celebrity it-girl
"Every Goddess wears lashings of lipgloss"

Only an LA celebrity it-girl could have put it so...so...so .....dangit, I'm lost for words...

Gail Porter, TV presenter
"Love being a woman and you will be a Goddess"

Makes me want to buy you a holiday home in Thailand, you've moved me so Gail.

Lisa Scott Lee, ex Steps
"Every Goddess needs a God to worship her"

Or, a god perhaps, Lisa? We don't want those Christian fundamentalists taking you to task now, do we? Or you really will be an ex Steps.

Hayley Evetts of Pop Idol fame
"Go on be yourself, ignite the goddess in you"

Yes, "Go on, go on, go on", as Mrs Doyle would surely concur. Hayley seems to have her head screwed on - anyone have any idea who she is?

Fearne Cotton - TV presenter
"Hairy Legs, big pants, chipped nail varnish = Still a Goddess"

Ah, Fearne! How true, how true! I can almost believe that you've seen me first thing in the morning. Would that it were so....

Sam Taylor Wood, artist
"A goddess is not a bit of fluff..."

Point taken, Sam!

Beverly Knight, singer
"I think...therefore I am a goddess..."

Cartesian dualism has never seemed quite so sexy, Bev.

Margherita Taylor, Capital Radio DJ and TV presenter
"Only handsome princes need apply..."

It's in the post Margherita - Margherita? don't mind if I do! (I bet you hear that one all the time, eh Mags?

Beth Orton, US singer
"Live as you dream"

Asleep? Or in bed? Tell us which, Beth, pleeeaaaase!

Elize du Toit, Izzy from Hollyoaks
"A Goddess is...being yourself"

Wise words from one so young, Elize. Elize - now that'd make a nice name for a perfume, wouldn't it?
So, there you have it. I hope you all feel thoroughly ashamed of your selves for whacking one off over young ladies who have so much else to offer society than being plain wank-fodder. To make amends, you can help save lives by ordering a shed-load of the following from all good stockists:

Impulse Goddess product range will include:
- Goddess Body Fragrance - 75ml GBP2.19
- Goddess Aerosol Anti-perspirant Deodorant - 150ml GBP2.09
- Goddess Roll-On Anti-perspirant Deodorant - 50ml GBP1.59

Next month's google search: "suspender belt"+divas