Strictly C***s Dancing...

Well, that's what we've always called it in our house, anyroad. Until this series, which has been superb. Apart from the final, obviously, which was the biggest travesty this side of the 2006 European Cup Final. Lisa Snowdon (she of the legs that go all the way up .... and *then* some) danced like an angel, scoring perfect marks for both her first and second routines. Such a divine figure of feminine grace did she present that even died in the wool, take-it-up-the-jacksy-from-a-burly-foul-mouthed-Stevedore pooves as Graig Brevile-Toasted-Sandwich-Maker and Bruno Tortellini appeared to be attempting to contain erectile swellings of desk-lifting proportions. And Rachel Stevens was almost as good.

So, come the vote to see which two contestants would grace the final dance off, and despite the pair having a seemingly insurmountable lead after the scores from last week's cocked up viewers' vote had been added to the finalists' scores, you just knew that it would be one of these floating goddesses of the terpsichore who would be ditched by the sofa-ridden, intravenous carb-guzzling rump of the good old British public. And so it came to pass. With whatever herculean effort of their walrus like personages they could manage without contravening the myriad of restraining and anti-social behaviour orders that keep them penned into their sink estates and safely out of sight of the middle classes, sufficient numbers of viewers managed to beat at the BBC hotline auto dial function on their mobile phones with an Iceland party snack jammed flipper for long enough to make the call and register a vote for two flat- left-footed, Robbie Keane lookalikey starched stiff showroom dummy doing a shit 80s style robotic dance wanker, Tom Chambers. It would be going a tad too far to say that grown men cried. An Henry-esque, bottom lip protruding boud in the attic listening to early John Mayall & the Bluesbreakers-era Eric Clapton very, very loud seemed sufficient. I won't even *start* on the footy...

He'll be the next Doctor Who - just you watch...*



L.U.V. on y'all,

Bob


* Robbie Keane, obviously...

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