The horror,the horror...

Awaking from my annual winter slumbers, I discover with some alarm and (I'm guessing at the meaning of the word here) alacrity that not only is the country about to go to the polls but it's also looking a racing certainty that the next PM will in all likelihood be a Tory.

In fairness, there will be a certain degree of novelty in the country being governed once more by a chinless public school toff, I suppose - and, to give the man his due, David Cameron does do a remarkable impersonation of a 1951 vintage Henry the Green Engine:




Cameron



Henry the G.E.

Should come in handy that - the ability to locomote speedily away from those angry mobs of peasantry after you've just closed down all their schools and hospitals in order to subsidise tax breaks for your old chums from Eton. That's right, Dave/Henry will be the envy of *all* the other engines: Gordon the Grumpy Bastard, Clegg the Champion Centre Party Choo-choo Train, Nigel the Farrageously Ferocious Freight, Wyn Jones the Steam, Alex the Flying Salmond (crikey - Salmond really does look more like something from Rev Awdry than a human being....) and who can forget every young boy's favourite lovable steam engine? Nick Griffin: the Fat Nazi Cunt.

Still, it's not all doom and gloom is it? (Well, the election's not 'tll Thursday, so there's still time to join a 20 month waiting list for treatment on the NHS) Another ray of light amidst the dying light; I recently became the proud owner of an iPOd touch.

They're astonishingly clever devices,aren't they? Not only are they an absolute boom to the serious scholar - I've loaded mine up with the complete works of Shakespeare, the Dickens collection, 101 classic novels, the casebook of Sherlock Holmes and six years worth of Knave back issues and it's barely even half full! it aslo croretcs lal yuor splelign msikates for yuo so you snot gave to ketp gong balcony on yuorslef all teh tmie to ptu thnigs rghit - ist fnastatic!!!!
But seriously - I thoroughly recommend them to all my reader.

Oh well, I suppose I'd better get back on the campaign trail. Only 4 more days to stop Cameron. This is serious stuff. How am I going to be able to lurk around outside the convent school gates all day once he's closed them all down??

Onward and upward....


Xxx
Bob

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