Greetings Swipesters! Due to unprecedented interest in yesterday's posting, I've been literally overwhelmed with enquiries for more Fearne Cotton/fabulous TV sex goddess info. So, never one to shirk hours and hours of futile internet surfing even when there are a thousand and one more important things to do - most pressingly, stopping George W. Bush - I expertly tapped Fearne+Cotton+goddess into a google search and - lo and behold! I came up with this fascinating tidbit of information and a great idea for a new monthly feature all in one go:
Impulse, the UK's favourite body fragrance, is calling for all young women to summon their inner goddess with the launch of its new fragrance range: Impulse Goddess.
To celebrate the inner power and beauty of Goddesses, Impulse has joined forces with a number of female celebs - modern day Goddesses - and Teenage Cancer Trust to auction funky, limited-edition t-shirts emblazoned with empowering Goddess mantras.
Amazing what lengths people will go to for charity, non? The eye still moistens a little when I dwell on the efforts these real-life goddesses are making while you sit there at home surfing the net for soft porn titilation - Shame on you, George! So, I know you're keen to read on. Here are the poetic mots justes ripped from our heroines' heaving breasts (steady George!):
Celebrity Goddess Expressions
Kelli from Liberty X
Nice approach there, Kelli. Acronyms always catch my eye when paradin' down the high street.
Holly Valance, singer
"There's a funky Goddess in every girl..."
So true, so true. And she sings too, apparently...
Leah Wood, Ronnie Woods's model daughter
"Goddess - Smile and the whole world smiles with you"
You truly are a model daughter, Leah. Let's hope the Woods's appreciate you.
Tamara Beckwith, LA celebrity it-girl
"Every Goddess wears lashings of lipgloss"
Only an LA celebrity it-girl could have put it so...so...so .....dangit, I'm lost for words...
Gail Porter, TV presenter
"Love being a woman and you will be a Goddess"
Makes me want to buy you a holiday home in Thailand, you've moved me so Gail.
Lisa Scott Lee, ex Steps
"Every Goddess needs a God to worship her"
Or, a god perhaps, Lisa? We don't want those Christian fundamentalists taking you to task now, do we? Or you really will be an ex Steps.
Hayley Evetts of Pop Idol fame
"Go on be yourself, ignite the goddess in you"
Yes, "Go on, go on, go on", as Mrs Doyle would surely concur. Hayley seems to have her head screwed on - anyone have any idea who she is?
Fearne Cotton - TV presenter
"Hairy Legs, big pants, chipped nail varnish = Still a Goddess"
Ah, Fearne! How true, how true! I can almost believe that you've seen me first thing in the morning. Would that it were so....
Sam Taylor Wood, artist
"A goddess is not a bit of fluff..."
Point taken, Sam!
Beverly Knight, singer
"I think...therefore I am a goddess..."
Cartesian dualism has never seemed quite so sexy, Bev.
Margherita Taylor, Capital Radio DJ and TV presenter
"Only handsome princes need apply..."
It's in the post Margherita - Margherita? don't mind if I do! (I bet you hear that one all the time, eh Mags?
Beth Orton, US singer
"Live as you dream"
Asleep? Or in bed? Tell us which, Beth, pleeeaaaase!
Elize du Toit, Izzy from Hollyoaks
"A Goddess is...being yourself"
Wise words from one so young, Elize. Elize - now that'd make a nice name for a perfume, wouldn't it?
So, there you have it. I hope you all feel thoroughly ashamed of your selves for whacking one off over young ladies who have so much else to offer society than being plain wank-fodder. To make amends, you can help save lives by ordering a shed-load of the following from all good stockists:
Impulse Goddess product range will include:
- Goddess Body Fragrance - 75ml GBP2.19
- Goddess Aerosol Anti-perspirant Deodorant - 150ml GBP2.09
- Goddess Roll-On Anti-perspirant Deodorant - 50ml GBP1.59
Next month's google search: "suspender belt"+divas