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Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Apple iTunes Appeal...


I'm Robert Swipe.

Like me, you probably watched the news last night and saw Michael Buerk's disturbing film about the current crisis at Apple iTunes. Who could be failed to be moved by the terrible images of suffering, disease and starvation that have beset the famine-ravaged corporation. Sad-eyed Apple iTunes executives, tears running down their fly-ridden faces - so much misery affecting so many - and seemingly no hope of a solution to their awful plight. Perhaps, like me, you just felt helpless, and maybe shed a tear and wished that the problem would just go away.

Sadly, it won't just go away- but there *is* hope. There *is* something you can do.

Just by clicking on the iTunes button below, you can give something - no matter how small - to help the poor, starving people of Apple iTunes

Because for every 79p or 99 cents you give, Apple iTunes will receive almost *half* that amount. So by buying 'Natalie Would', for instance, you might be providing a light confection such as a Mars bar or a packet of M & Ms for an impoverished Apple iTunes executive. Buy 'Spinsterella' and 'Deep Sea Diva', and the same executive could wash that down with a warm cup of latte or cappucino. Buy the whole album, and an Apple iTunes executive will be able to have a light but nutritious lunch...

So, you see - there *is* something you can do.

Thank you for your time.







  1. ... so, is Swipe back in the blogging game, or is he still laying down some tracks at Compass Point, man?

  2. You mean I have to buy it again?

  3. Bettsters:

    Nope; Bob's in the The Crying Game, as per...

    (Or was that Forrest Whittaker? Or Roger??)

    Strayster: *Yes*....

    Unless, of course you want the blood of several Apple iTunes execs on your conscience.....

    Oh, and while I think of it - why don't you answer your *fecking* mobile?????

    (In-joke there folks...Stray will explain - probably by way of a lengthy blog illustrated with a picture of Dean Windass as the ounchline...)

    Oh, *boy* is it good to be back....



    p.s. I see Spinny's snuffed it. Didn't even have the decency to thank me for naming a song after her....

    (Mind you, she had heard it, I suppose...)

  4. "Ounchline"??

    Neologism (or should that be 'jism'?)

    Meaning, loosely translated: a punchline so bad, it hurts...


  5. I think the government should help the poor executives. I give away enough in taxes and to voluntary organisations such as The British Librarians Foundation and Radiographers Anonymous.

    However, let me know if you have a WAV file encrusted CD of the album for sale, then you'll also have a bigger cut of the profits.

  6. I think Steve Jobs should have to listen to absolutely everything that goes onto iTunes, and award it a mark out of five.