Starburst over London
I fell out of the sky
Lost among the humanoids
They never told me why...
Your Alvin vay sed. And so Alvin I become. Stood vare in me fishnets n bovver boots, a stoled zippy coat me only comfort from ver frightful cold feelings ov me extratrestial bod. 'Alvin', I mouved back at ver gang ov scruffs assembled about me, gorpin and gaspin at ver twin artbeats palpin away like billy O, me alien ness plainly visible beneaf me see-froo blars. So vis is Erf, I smiled ter me lonesome. Erf is a shit-ole, I funked, just like vey sed it would be - orrible grey stuff smered wiv white tubes wot pong like a sewer, paper rags streamin every here n vivver n evry wall wiv sumfing writted on it. Erf, you stink, I fort - might even ave whispered it under me bref. You stink of shit but you are ome, I fort.
Gubby, iz name woz Gubby, I fink, e was ver boldest of em, e reached out iz umanoid and n seemed a little took of aback ter find me skin not to much differenter van is own - smoover, paler, synfetically enhanced vo it were. Ardened against vizical pain to a degree iz pasty flesh could never not be, but still as vulnerable as any umanoid to ver chilly cold of ver wind. 'Eaty', e sed, 'Eaty'...Gubby kep on repeatin ver same silly word wot ad no meaning as far as me recepta banks and dayterstream rezorses was concerned -'Eating' bein the closest match to come up on me mindscroll. E finks I must be ungry, I spose, I reasoned, knowin vey'd most like gorped n gasped in orror n delight as me spasecraft ship plummetid like a cone into ver mud grey slimey slew of water into what I had crashed. 'Yes please, Mister Sir', I sed to him in me best Erf aksent as like I had been tort in all vose lessons to prepare me for me mishon. 'I is very ungry Sir, n food would be ver just delightful fing, if it pleezes, sir, fank you sir.." Gubby giv me a funny look, iz ed slightly ter one side and sed 'Nah' *Eaty*, not 'Eaty'. Yer know; 'Eaty - Fo nome'...
Erf can be confuzin sumtimes, carn't it?