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Thursday, 6 March 2008

Alvin Starburst...

Starburst over London

I fell out of the sky

Lost among the humanoids

They never told me why...

Your Alvin vay sed. And so Alvin I become. Stood vare in me fishnets n bovver boots, a stoled zippy coat me only comfort from ver frightful cold feelings ov me extratrestial bod. 'Alvin', I mouved back at ver gang ov scruffs assembled about me, gorpin and gaspin at ver twin artbeats palpin away like billy O, me alien ness plainly visible beneaf me see-froo blars. So vis is Erf, I smiled ter me lonesome. Erf is a shit-ole, I funked, just like vey sed it would be - orrible grey stuff smered wiv white tubes wot pong like a sewer, paper rags streamin every here n vivver n evry wall wiv sumfing writted on it. Erf, you stink, I fort - might even ave whispered it under me bref. You stink of shit but you are ome, I fort.

Gubby, iz name woz Gubby, I fink, e was ver boldest of em, e reached out iz umanoid and n seemed a little took of aback ter find me skin not to much differenter van is own - smoover, paler, synfetically enhanced vo it were. Ardened against vizical pain to a degree iz pasty flesh could never not be, but still as vulnerable as any umanoid to ver chilly cold of ver wind. 'Eaty', e sed, 'Eaty'...Gubby kep on repeatin ver same silly word wot ad no meaning as far as me recepta banks and dayterstream rezorses was concerned -'Eating' bein the closest match to come up on me mindscroll. E finks I must be ungry, I spose, I reasoned, knowin vey'd most like gorped n gasped in orror n delight as me spasecraft ship plummetid like a cone into ver mud grey slimey slew of water into what I had crashed. 'Yes please, Mister Sir', I sed to him in me best Erf aksent as like I had been tort in all vose lessons to prepare me for me mishon. 'I is very ungry Sir, n food would be ver just delightful fing, if it pleezes, sir, fank you sir.." Gubby giv me a funny look, iz ed slightly ter one side and sed 'Nah' *Eaty*, not 'Eaty'. Yer know; 'Eaty - Fo nome'...

Erf can be confuzin sumtimes, carn't it?

L.U.V. on y'all,






  1. Ah natrallie understud efri fahkin wurd o' dat. Wuz yer bes rioting ta dayte.

  2. Have you put your pants back on yet? Those speedo's are looking a bit tight ;-O x

  3. That's 'cos he's wearing child size Speedo's. Just don't ask them where he got them from.

    It's difficult to see the trunks properly in that photo. Has the "s" worn away from the "Speedo" badge, Bob?

  4. Just pandering to your cock fixation Ister....

    I can't do anything right, can I?


  5. I was liking the fishnet Bobster - oo-er madam mmmyes! xx