Happy 64th Birthday Todd Blogney!!!!...

Yes, veteran jazzer and Japan's foremost Cuttlefish de-fibulerater, Todd Blogney reaches a landmark birthday and to celebrate, we here at the The Robert Swipe Show pay tribute to Isleworth's premier Jew's harp virtuoso. From the age of 7, when he borrowed his first harp, Todd has been wowing audiences across the TW7 postal district with his heady brew of jazz/afro/limbo/square dance fusion. Who can forget the haunting melody of Why Can't I lick it? Who hasn't swooned to the throbbing, sensuous rhythms of Indigo Banana Blues? Who on earth writes this stuff? And is he paying us?? And would you believe that Todd still has the *very same* harp to this day. The Jew he borrowed it from is understandably miffed...

So, Many Happy Returns Toddster - don't be partying *toooooo* hard tonight!!

And whilst we're in the celebratory mood, raise a glass or too of stout to the blogosphere's most delectable left-on-the-shelfer, the incomparable Spinsterella, who has just posted up her 200th tale of unrequited love and doomed to singleness (come on, who are we kidding? She's well out of the weekly round of badminton tournaments and strip tupperware evenings with the PTA Dinner & Dance Social committee...) Thanks Spinny for ....gee shucks.....[Bob wipes a tiny tear of 'buie from the end of his purple nose...] well, for just being *you*. It may be a lonely life but, as the song says, "please don't ever change" - or at least, if you do, make sure to have the fondling and lovey-doveyness committed to video so that those of us who have followed your career for so long can have something to remember you by [and probably get a few quid for down the market after we've burned a copy of it....].

Here's to the next 200 posts! And if it wasn't for the fact that my other half is a regular reader of this column, I'd be the first to offer to take you away from the drab spinster life of loneliness and unfulfilledness. Nothing would give me more pleasure than to make you lonely and unfullfilled in a co-habiting relationship based on your indulging in a backbreaking round of domestic servitude before having to fend off my buie-fuelled drunken sexual advances and commands to do unspeakable things with a Cauldron vegetarian sausage and sachet of Neskwik...

Well done everyone!!!


envoi: I was hoping to do a Spinny picture post along the following lines, but Blogger was being an arse....

Prospective catches for The Spinster:

Roy...

[picture of Roy Wood]

....*would*

Ronnie...

[picture of Ronnie Wood]

....*would*

Victoria...

[picture of Victoria Wood]

....*ahem* we'll draw a discreet veil over this, shall we?


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