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Wednesday, 16 April 2008

Bob's Birthday Bash!...

Yes, it's come around again. 21 Tomorrow!!

So I thought as it's a rather special anniversary I'd mark the occasion by having a big birthday bash!! (Well - key to the door and all that. I didn't think they did things like that at HMP Holloway, but apparently it's all part of some new initiative they're trying out. What with that and the Government issue Amyl Nitrate, there's never been a better time to be a sex offender, it would seem!!)

Obviously, I'd L.U.V. you all to come, but as I've been given a stonking great advance by HOLA! magazine for exclusive photos of my guests' laps covered in crumbs and with Martini/vom down their fronts, I'm having to make it clebs only, I'm afraid. But maybe we can do a meet and greet with the hoi polloi if/when I reach 22...?

So, it promises to be a pretty faberooni affair. Denis Nordern's compering. Kevin Rowland's agreed to do a turn as Gracie Fields - he gets "Sallee" absolutely down pat - if it wasn't for the hot pants dungaree outfit and comedy moustache/fez combo, you'd *swear* it was the real thing. Ainsley Harriott will be slugging it out with Evander Holyfield over 15 rounds of tag-tiddlywinks and I I may even be persuaded to deliver a ditty or two myself before I am escorted back here to be detained at Her Majesty's Pleasure. (She's not so bad Liz, once you get to know her. Always got plenty of snouts, I'll give her that...)

So, do check out the pics when they come out. Anthony Worrall-Thompson's bringing his Brownie and if ever there was a man who was as adept at making a pineapple fritter as taking a badly focussed fanny shot of a GMTV weather girl being smeared with brylcreem by a senior member of the Shadow cabinet, it's our Ant!! Just hope the poisonous little dwarf remembers to put the bloody film in this time!



L.U.V. on y'all,






  1. "...there's never been a better time to be a sex offender".
    Yes, specially if you're doing time in the Scrubs - you get a good chance of acquiring Pete Doherty's autograph.
    Happy Birthday, Bob.

  2. Arse - I'm on catch-up here - I thought you had de-camped to munterspace for good - evidently not. A very late happy birthers Bobster xxxx