Great tidings here from Swipe Towers! We are moments away from sealing a deal that will finally bring your favourite internet smut/comedy fusion fix direct into your living room! (Unless of course you already have a PC set up in your living room, in which case you're gonna have to come up with a pretty good excuse for the number of hours you spend supposedly 'looking for a cheaper deal on the car insurance' while you're really gawping at all the cheap smut and desperately accomodating illegal immigrants we post up here...sorry guys, but I gotta make a livin' too....)
That's right, having dropped our previous pitch policy of referring to the CEOs of major networks as 'the cunts at the top' and attempting to smear their secretaries cum midweek fumble after the office bowling night with alcohol based aphrodisiac rub, we have smarted up our game and consequently made major strides towards binging our dream of a Robert Swipe TV vehicle to life. We have teamed up with a major international con artist with a highly dubious police record and absolutely no previous experience of placing an experimental and poorly thought out TV format to the broadcasting fraternity and have had sincere expressions of interest from the Men and Motors channel, CBeebies, Timothy Whites TV - (the home of the What Dr. Scholl Sandal Bulletin) and BBC 4. Obviously, we realise that some of these stations are barely worth the energy it takes to find them with the remote and we're really just keepin' 'em in the hat to try to up the pressure on the real players. Mind you, if at the end of the day BBC4 is the only one left on the table, so be it...
We have lined up a stellar cast with celebrity Welsh midget
Rob Brydon pencilled in to take the role of me. (I know, but what can you do?) Plus we'll have your favourite regulars from The Show - Rowan Pelling,
Tanya Beckett and Sophie Raworth waiting for Godot, Blanche Librarian
and, of course, my little sister Roberta.
We'll keep you posted on developments, but make sure you keep an eye on the TV listings because it's gonna be some show!
Love on y'all,
Bob
© 2006 Swipe Enterprises
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