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Wednesday, 25 October 2006

The Letters Game...

What would we do without the Grauniad, eh?

Yesterday's crossword bailed us out when we had absolutely nothing of interest to communicate to the world at large. So today it's the turn of the Letters Game. The rules are quite simple - you just have to make the biggest word you can out of the letters below:


It doesn't say anything about not using bad words, so presumably if there were an N and a T there, it would be quite admissible to use the word CUNT, although admittedly that's not a particularly long word. You'd probably be better off waiting until the option of combining it with O H O & K presented itself, the word CUNTHOOK doubling as it does the size of the word at a stroke and almost succeeding in using up all the available letters. In fact, if the remaining letter was an S - BINGO! You've managed to use *all nine* of the words to achieve the maximum score - although Christ in a PVC catsuit only knows what a SCUNTHOOK is.

Tomorrow: Part One of our cut out and keep, full-colour, inch by inch mosaic of Bob Swipe's eggshell blue living room. Just collect all 28,967 identical squares to create your own astonishingly life-like replica of Bob's living room wall. Part 2 comes free with the first intallment!

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  1. Can i have another "i" please, Bob?

    Duelliphic. (adj). To be really good at duels...

  2. An "i" and a gold star to the Whalester.

    We may not be able to offer you girl-on-girl sickbed shennanigans here I know, but at least we keep the old grey matter exercised...

  3. scunthook? isn't that near cleethorpes?

  4. I wouldn't put it past it, Cokester...

  5.'s a bloke who plays with his feet.

  6. My ex-boyfriend from when I was 18 used to call me 'Hooks'.

    It was short for...god, what am I starting this here for. Not cunthooks exactly, although that is a popular term of affection round my way.

  7. Come to think of it make that peduphillic. Where do I claim my prize?

  8. What did you thin of the Grauniad's fake blog today Mr. Swipe?

  9. "What did you thin of the Grauniad's fake blog today Mr. Swipe?"

    Is there a link to that, docster?

    And is there a Docster in the house?

  10. God i'm crap at these i'd not be very good on countdown.

    Ps well done on Tuesday (i'm not a bad looser really)

  11. Hello, Robert Swipe.

    I recognise you from the comments sections of Rockmother's and Molly Bloom's blogs. I ought really to be here under my own steam, but I'm here this time by way of a comment that you left for me on the now more-or-less defunct Guitargas blog.

    You were asking about alternatives to a Martin acoustic. Unfortunately I would be a fraud and a liar if I pretended I knew a great deal about acoustics, Robert. Electrics are my bag. Soz matey, have to say, disappointingly, that I don't know.

    Maximum Bob has a nice Taylor Baby, and I've heard good things of Tanglewood, but other than that I be a dimwit. My last acoustic purchase was a £30 nylon string from Argos.

    On the subject of rude place names, my personal favourites are Brown Willy (Devon) and King Dicks Hole (Leicestershire).

    Is PHUC a word?

  12. Simonhh:

    It was a trick question - there's only one all solid wood Chinese made acoustic guitar worth lOoking at: the Blueridge BR-183

    2 grands worth of martin-style punch for three figures.

    Get one today....

    bb: thanks. They are playinmg particularly well right now, so no disgrace in losing to 'em. Did you go?

    Spinny: do tell....or are you going to blog that affectionate term so that *everyone* can enjoy it?

    CJ: Did you edit out the unnecessary "very" ?

  13. Ah! Good trick Robert! Thanks for the info on acoustic guitars then.

    So is it possible to listen to podcasts without a pod-thingy?

  14. Sure is Si,

    Just go to the switchpod link and it should play when you select the cast you want. Aletrnatively, download i-Tunes - it's free and listen on that. It should come up in i-Tunes if you search for Robert Swipe [show]

    They are lovely guitars, the blueridges. I'm more a semi-acoustic, c & w cat myself, but I'd be interested in learning more about amp modelling and the liek as I've just ordered an 8-track recorder...

  15. Robert, thanks for all of that. I'll have a listen.

    "C & W" as in the "C word" (looks around furtively to make sure nobody is looking), as in... Country?

    Some fantastic guitar playing and songwriting to be found there so Country is cool with me.

    I've got a couple of amp modellers. I've got a POD II and a wee Korg Ampworks. I've used the former live as a preamp/DI and for recording with, to my ear, very favourable results. Might not be your bad, but I played the JTM45 model on the Pod cranked up with a Tele and it sounded lovely.

    Holyhoses Rob had the Korg Toneworks complete with (wow!) a real valve, but he kept getting tons of radio interference. I tried it too and got the same. Oh, and I had one of those M-Audio Black Boxes, but I found the models to be a touch fizzy and aggressively gated.

    I've also got IK Multimedia's Amplitube software for use within Protools but not got round to trying itproperly yet. To be honest I bought it for overdriving audio from soft synths.

    I tend to do my guitar signal processing before it goes into the computer or A/D converter during recording, because it causes less glitches. I'm not bothered about flexibility after the event because I prefer to think about what I want the guitar to sound like before I record a song, rather than afterwards.

    Sorry; breaking out into a guitar rant! Anyway, never one to miss up on an opportunity to give my opinion on this sort of thing...

  16. I need LUCIDHELP - does that count? I mean cunt?

  17. Rockmother! You clever thing you!