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Tuesday, 3 October 2006

What Happens In a Library Run By Dyslexics?...

I ma Tboy nad I wrok ni a bLairry. Is’t a rlealy gdoo jbo – I rlealy nejyo wroknig whit poelpe nad bkoos nad copmtures nad predoiclas. I wrok fro a nUivrestiy ni west Lnodno. Is’t very mutlicutullar nad htey ahve a vrey gdoo plociy no melpoynig poelpe fomr eth thecin nimriotise nad poelpe whit dibasiliets kile mnie.

uoY ese, I ma dsyelicx – I ahve borplmes ditsingshuinig cahrcatres; orf nisatnec, wneh uoy wtire a wdor kile adraravk, I ese ti sa aardvark wihhc mekas on snese ta lal, dsoe ti? Btu, sa I asy, they era vrey frowrad tnihknig ehre nad catlualy dnoig fra more tnah htey era qeruider ot od yb alw ot mtee hte ndees fo poelpe kile em. uoY ese, ni hte dab dlo adys, ti wloud ahve eben misopsbile orf omseneo kile em ot ahve a jbo kile htis. I wloudt’n neev ahve tog na tinveriwe, osmt kileyl. eSems tsargen, dsoet’n ti? Btu taht’s waht ti wsa kile back tneh. owN, htouhg, veryhetnig si os fifdernet. eW dsyelicxs gte xetar tmie ni uor axems nad htey ahve sepical raderes wihhc anc akme etxts aesire ot rdea. orF nisatnec, hte cbakrgnoud anc eb dmae ot lkoo eyllwore htan nromla; ew dsyelicxs fnid eyllwo mkaes cahrcatres apepar lcarere tnah a pnail wtihe cbakrgnoud.

yM mnai repsonbisityli ni hte bLairry si ptutnig the bkoos bcak no hte hselves. hTis si a vrey miprotnat tsak ebcasue fi hte bkoos aner’t ptu bcak ni hte crorcet pacle ti anc eb amlsot misopsbile ot fnid htem. uoY ese, ew ahve a garet mnay bkoos ni uor bLairry – puwdras fo neo hnudder nad svenyet htounasd. Os bovoiulys ew ahve ot eb vrey craeflu hwere ew ptu htem! tOhrewsie, ti wloud akme ti vrey fifdiclut orf uor bLairry uesrs ot eb albe ot ptu hteir hnads no hte etxtkboos htey wnat ot rdea.

nI order ot fatclitiae htis, ew sue a calssificiatoni yssmet clalde bLairry fo nogCress. Is’t na mArecian nocpcet, ewll, bovoiulys ethy sue ti ni hte bLairry fo nogCress orf a tsart! Is’t neo fo hte bgigset msot erwonden bLairrys ni hte wrold. tA frist is’t a ilttel mopclitadec, btu uoy osno teg hte hnag fo ti. tI wroks kile htis: htree si a lnie fo tletres – ofowldle yb a lnie fo munrebs. hTe munrebs era a hwole munreb, otn a demicla munreb, sa ti si ni Dyewe Demicla calssificiatoni. hTere si smoeemits a demicla munreb no hte xten lnie, btu htat mopclitasect tnihgs osmewtah. Fnillay, htere si a lnie wihhc si clalde hte ctutre. hTis lnie si sued ot ditsingshui ebwteen bkoos no hte smae sjubcet nad is’t bsaed no hte atuohr’s itinails nad hte mnai wrod fo hte tilte. lAl ni lal, htey lkoo kile htis:


hTis munreb – ro calss mrak sa ew clal ti - si orf a bkoo no hte plihsohpy fo rat – no eathsteicas ot eb perscie.

owN, sa uoy mya ahve ntoidec, I ahve a hbati fo ptutnig tletres ni hte rwnog odrer – nad I ahve on noctlor orve htat, nuftornutaley. Btu ti si akwrawd no cocssanio, pratciluaryl wneh ti cmose ot ptutnig tnihgs ni aphlatebcial odrer. orF nisatnec, fi osmenoe wnatde a bkoo no hte polihsohpy fo rat, I wloud dricet htem ot hte munreb bavoe: HB21.P5J6. Btu qtuie a efw lcetreurs nad sutdnets ahve mopclinade htat htey cnaont fnid hte bkoos htey wnat ni hte setcoin I tlel htem ot lkoo ni. Fro nistanec, hte tohre ady, an rat lcetreur acme bcak form hte hsleves whit a bkoo no enocomics nad sdai ti smilpy wsat’n gdoo genouh nad ti swa a csae fo loptilac crorcetsens gnoe mda.

fO croues, htere wlil lawyas eb poelpe hwo wlil rsesit cnahge. oSme fo htem era nsatire htan ohtres, antuaryll. Btu I tnihk htat htey wlil cmoe raoudn ni hte ned. Uoy ese, hte pnoit si htat veryenoe ese hte wrold fifdernetyl. Uoy ese na aardvark, I ese na adraravk; uoy asy toptao, I asy toptao. Btu wnoadyas, ew on olngre ripvelige neo vwie pnoit baove nay ohtre. oS ym evrsoin fo hte wrold si jsut sa vlaid sa nayneo esle’s.

Nad fi uoy dno’t kile ti, m’I fraida htat uoy wlil ahve ot ptu pu whit ti orf uqtie smoe tmie. eBcasue lal hte tmie htey lalwo em ot ptu hte bkoos no hte hsevles, I wlil noly eb bale ot ptu htem bkac hwere I tnihk htey uohgt ot og. oS, nuftornutaley orf ouy, ouy wlil jsut ahve ot laren ot ese the wrold htrouhg ym esy. Ohtrewsie, uoy mya ahve a lnog wtai orf yuro bkoos.

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  1. You used to work in X-Ray filing before the library, didn't you?

  2. This is written in Welsh, isn't it?

  3. Ah... it makes me head go funny. Make it stop.

  4. Did you know that if you put a piece of blue cellophane over the screen when you read this, it actually reads as normal text? Try it and see. We use it at work.

    I laughed so much at this Bobster. Really wonderful.

    I would write Yay in a strange way...but it doesn't work...obviously. Ayy??

    hist si a ervy ownerdlfu iepec fo riwtngi osbtoerb. Og ot hte pot fo het asscl.

  5. I feel a bit sorry for your colleague Toby tho.

  6. I spotted a spelling mistake. Honest! In the light of today's autism thing there will be some dyslexic people wanting to call you a cnut.

  7. "I spotted a spelling mistake. "

    Elaborate please Richard.

    I thought it was a very pro-dyslexic piece meself...don't you feel much *closer* to them now? More empathetic??

    Oh well, one can but yrt...

  8. Yes,

    "plihsohpy fo rat" should be "polihsohpy"

    Obviously they'd only be able to call you a cnut if they could read it (which, thinking about it, they probably could)

  9. Quite so Richard.

    I have amended the spelling accordingly and it now reads as it should.

    [I trust the irony of this exchange isn't lost on anyone.....]

  10. Just to rassure you, I didn't go through it with a nit-comb as I have a life. For some reason it stuck out like a sore thumb. What on earth does that say about me?

  11. "What on earth does that say about me?"

    That you'd make an excellent copy editir, Richard...

  12. Do you feel rassured then?

    (not that good, obviously)