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Tuesday, 19 September 2006

Bob's Five Hundredth Post...

{..sorry to intrude on all the fun, but Bobcast21 is up now.......oh, and JDACast3...)



...well, this is starting to realise a long cherished ambition of mine* - I've always thought the comments were funnier than the posts (especially other people's on mine)....and now, here we are - The Comments Are The Post...**

I was rather hoping that La-di-da-Grauniad-Column-Writing-Gunner-Footman would have picked up on my Situationist-style inversion of the classical blog form - you know, beneath the pavement the beach/above the blog, the comments - sort of thing.....but he's obviously too busy having a real life.

Well, look on the bright side - at least there's less of my pointless whittering on this one...

* ...and starting to look like a very sad Record Breakers style attempt to become the longest blog post in history. Do you think it'd get me on the telly?

** Yes, I know - it's all set up for some clever swot to come up with a Post-Comments Are The Post movement...but let me carry on deluding myself I'm with the avant garde for a moment, wouldya??

To recap, I'd asked people to post me comments in a Bob Swipe stylee.....

So, here are the Swipesters whose comments could be making history as we speak:


  • A. RADIOGRAPHERSTER
  • said:

    I know who I-Pimp-For-Hobbits is...

    Walk away Stray, while you still can.....

  • THE BAGGIEBIRDSTER!
  • said:

    OK i'm crap at this. I don't think I could do a whole post. The only thing I can think to say is

    Well they've done it those *cunts* they've sacked the manager, i mean what do we do now....

    I hope that will do I know it's very rushed but i'm off on holiday tomorrow and what with my dad deciding to have a heart attack (albiet a mild one) a couple of weeks back i'm really not sure whether i'm on my arse or my elbow here. I did however manage to get your * little stars* in along with the c word, that should merit at least a point for trying


    Best yet BB. After Mollsters. And Dick's. And Betty's....

    (I'm too honest for my own good - that's my trouble. But if a point will help you in your quest for a return to the Premiership.....it would be mean not to award one, wouldn't it?

    Seriously, I hope your Dad's OK. And enjoy the hols...


  • THE BECKYSTER

  • THE 'BERTASTER
  • Said:

    Hi Bob. That Billy seems like a nice fellow - you wouldn't happen to have his phone number would you?

    xxxx

    'Berta


    Honestly, I don't know where she gets it from - you wouldn't find *me* getting up to stuff like that!


  • THE BETTSTER!!!!
  • said:

    It would be virtually impossible to get *all* the Bobster-That-Is-The-Swipester-That-Is-The Bobster style tics and idiosyncracies in, surely?

    Even a Swipe-pissed-at-one-in-the-morning comment with all the typos in would be beyond me. So it looks as if I'll have to be "purged" with syrup and figs then.


    Then:

    Oh, alright, I can't do a whole post but I can bung in an old standby ...

    "I'm speechless! You conniving, randy, bogus, oriental old queen! Your record sleeves are better than your songs!"

    Bobcasts are now available on iTunes!!

    click here to hear our regular Bobcasts!!

    Subscribe to The Robert Swipe Show!!

    Vote for the Robert Swipe Show in the annual Twickenham Blogging Awards!!

    The full range of Robert Swipe Show Thermal Undies is available online now!!

    Buy The Robert Swipe Autobiography - available from all BHF shops at an introductory offer of £12.99 now!!!

    etc, etc ... anything to escape from being purged ...


    "Old standby"???....


    .....she knows me so well...


  • THE BILLSTER
  • said:

    What about bringing back Roberta?

    Typical bloke, Billster - and I thought you were different but you're cosi fan tutti after all...

  • THE BLIND FLANEURSTER

  • THE BLUE WOLFESSTER

  • THE BRISTER (R.I.P.?)


  • THE CERISTER
  • said:

    Quite a post. Keep 'em coming and here's to the next 500.

    I think I'll be stuck on this one for a wee while yet, Leighton. btw - are you and Ceridewn Devi distinct, autonomous individuals - or am I missing summat? Thanks anyway - however many of you there are....


  • THE CERISTER'S JAZZ BLOG

  • THE CLEAVESTER IN CANADA

  • THE CYBERAMIGASTER

  • THE DICKSTER
  • said:

    I just can't do it anymore....no seriously....I really mean it this time. This is it. I'm not kidding. It's taking up too much of my life. It's affecting my work, my family, my friends. I'm not eating properly, the dog isn't getting any excercise and I get funny looks from the neighbours. So it is with great regret that I am obliged to pull, finally and irrevocably the old cyber plug. Sorry folks but it has to be done. No more. Finito. Bye...love y'all ... feel free to comment... Bob


    Are you sure I didn't mail that to you Dickster??

    Uncanny, huh?

    He then hit me with this:

    Oh so I'm a plagiarist now am I? I keep records you know. It may be loosely based on an e-mail I got from some bloke called John who purported to be going up the wall what with being under-appreciated and all. Very embarassing so I deleted it smartish. Dick

    John???? Shurely shome mishtake....before obscurely adding:

    Motown. Smokey, Marvin and the Funk Brothers.

    Yep, James Jamerson, Earl van Dyke, Benjy Benjamin et al.....Cripes that rum's strong....

    ....then, filled with remorse for giving the game away in a GWAOTM stylee:

    Just joking Robert. I have to type quick before the warden gets back. Dick.

    It's OK, Dickster - I can live with the truth. Was the Funk Brothers thing your way of asking me to cast some Motown?? A terrible admission, I'll admit. I'm onto it...

    ....and then, after expressing *even* more remorse:

    Jamerson only ever used one finger you know.

    Yes. He referred to it as "The Hook", apparently Dickster.



  • THE FLUFFY ECONOMISTSTER

  • THE FOOD OF GOATSTER
  • said:

    (apologies for missing this and posting a later post first, Richard...)

    It's just not working, is it. I thought as much. I gave it my best shot but there comes a time in real life that you realise that (maybe, just maybe) your mum and dad weren't trying to fuck you up and that (maybe, just maybe) their suggestion of a career in quantity surveying was best.

    So that's it then. Bobcast 732 will be the final one. I've given up the audio; the novel is being shelved and the rubber gear's going back as we found that was the cause of the nob-rot. No more Cuntiad, it's the Express for me from now on. No more fretting over reads or wondering if the producer from the Archers is reading and is going to give me that break. The Bobster's off to night school in Roehampton to learn to count. Numbers are truth. I tried, I really tried but the words have fucked me up.

    Right, farewell Swipesters...


    Ropehampton? Well, it's only down the road, I suppose....

    Oh yes, well done on the 500 thing.

    Cheers Rich. (I think he means the posts, folks - I'm not *that* old....)

  • THE FRAUDSTER!

  • THE FREDSTER(S)


  • THE GEOFFSTER
  • said:

    I can't do it, Bob - either the Bobalike post or the Podcast. I'm just happy to be part of the gang after so many years of isolation and I don't want to be kicked out for a lack of application. I don't want to be the first of the gang to die, like silly old Hector.

    Just listened to the cod cast which has inspired me to do a Judge Dredd post. Much maligned, Judge Dredd, but did you know he was a big influence on the Rude Bude Rudeboy label, the filthy Cornish rival to Two Tone? Jethro's Big Portion album would have been massive if it wasn't for Red Wedge.


    Well Geoff, all I can say is you've never been in love until you've seen the stars reflected in the reservoirs, obviously...

    Looking forward to the Dread post - a request? A Rude Bude Rudeboy post too - I am in complete ignorance and it sounnds fascinating...

    Your contribution is fine as it is Geoffster, as always. Shame about the cast - I reckon it would have been fab...



  • THE GRAND UNIONSTER

  • THE HANNSTER

  • THE HEATHSTER (PHWOOOOAAARR!!)

  • THE HEIKESTER

  • THE HOWES-STER
  • said:

    What the world needs now is a chance to hear Kenny Lynch's marvelous cover of Misery. Maybe then we stand a chance of understanding our fellow man and living together in peace and harmony. That HAS to be the reason that the Lynchster recorded it doesn't it? I certainly cant't think of any other purpose behind it. The man is a diplomatic genius, have you ever seen him and Kofi Annan in the same room at the same time? Thought not. Hmmmmmm, makes you wonder...
    Regards and Rrrreinemachefrau,
    Howesy


    In honour of my old benefactor, I'll put it on the next Bobcast, Mr. H. - that or Bernie Cribbins doing When I'm 64....

    ....in fact....I feel a themed cast coming on.....

    Yummers!

    ..all of which evidently put the fear of God into the handsome young Boulevardier:

    "i feel a themed bobcast coming on". omigod, what have i done?!?!

    As Geoff will no doubt attest, heavy is the heart that has inspired a Bobcast - just thank your lucky stars* it's a Beatles covers one, and not cod bleeding reggae....

    *Vince Hill, e.g.

  • IFAMYSTER

  • THE INK SLINGSTER

  • ISTSTER THE TWISTER THE HASTA LA VISTA
  • said:

    I don't mind being purged, Bob...no, *really* I don't.

    It can't be any worse than having to read about Ziggy Woodblum's groopie stories.

    Click here to subscribe to my own ego.


    Has Ziggy published his sex romp kiss and tell memoirs then? That's handy - we need a new doorstop...

    ...and then the Bobcast requests started rolling in:

    Bob - if you're gonna do a themed Beatles covers podcast thing, don't forget to include "Tomorrow Never Knows" by Living Colour.

    Dave Gregory did a fantastic spot on cover of "Strawberry Fields Forever", which is nearly indistinquishable from the original.


    I don't know: not satisfied with stealing all me listeners - now he wants to *sequence* the bloody thing....

    I'll have to download it Istster the Twister The Hasta la Vista (sorry folks, I just love saying that...) as I don't have any Living Colour albums, for my sins...CSM was a big fan, wasn't he? Anything else you'd like? Peter & Gordon? Ike Hayes 2 hour version of 'Something'?

  • THE JIFDUMPSTER
  • said:

    sorry 'bout the non contributo, didn't have a bloody clue mate! couldn't think of anything witty to say, just to let you know....I hope to be sending an mp3 your way sometime tonight..hope it works? JDA...

    OOOOOHHHHH!! An MP3!!! Cheers Jifster!

    Also, gave me an excuse to link you at last - huzzah!!

    I'll listen to a Jifcast asap - just not been able to get on the laptop this week.

  • THE JOOLSTER
  • said:

    Bob how could anyone ever impersonate you? You are an original, a one off, a veritable receptacle of uniqueness, I wouldn't dare to try (plus I'm probably not barmy enough)...does going phwoarrr Heathster count?

    Obviously not as far as The Heathster is concerned. She doesn't write, she doesn't phone....You got the cheque alright, I see...

    Might work for you though Jools. I will try to listen to your pooh wotsit thingy tonight - sorry I haven't already. The laptop and I are "on a break..."


  • THE KONICHISTER


  • Oh yes!! There's a nastiness and meanness of spirit here I could *never* hope to match, but a sterling effort nonetheless K.!!!

    How can I ever thank you?

    K. then compounded the insult thus:

    "Rrrreinemachefrau" - I love it when I hear an obscure comic reference from someone I've never met!

    Swipemeister, this is the funniest post you've had in a good while. Does that tell you anything?


    Yes, K. It tells me you're a cunt. And that Howesey is not only better looking than me, but also funnier than I am. Tell me - short of suicide - what do I have to do to crawl out from under his shadder???


  • LOGANOCSTER SLAGGING OFF STUFF

  • THE LP1STER

  • THE LUCIEN DE LA PESTESTER

  • THE LYDSTER

  • THE MARCSTER

  • THE MIKE DA HATSTER

  • THE MOLLSTER (With her laughing eyes,
    And her suitboot dress)
  • said:

    Here is my Bob-post for your blog Bobster:

    Well I'd like to say that all of my fifteen readers are commenting up posts for my 500th post..but the bastards are all over the place, plotting to steal computers and well..that is just *not* right. They'll be hopping off to The Grauniad next.

    I'd have hoped that Tanya Beckett could have legged it over here in her leathers but she's gone off with Sophie for some mayonnaise licking sessions in the toilets. Well, what I'd *pay* to see that.

    Meanwhile, back at ver Swipe lodge, I was drinking my Buie Breezers when I thought..I know..I'll do a Podcast. I'll play Roxy and then I'll play The Shangri-la la las. That might get Sophie and Tanya up from their mayonnaise splattered orgy and over here for some good old salad cream induced rioting. Phwoarrrr!

    And then I sat back in my arm-chair. I reached for my Martin Amis. I sipped my Breezer and Twickenham fine ale. I planned my next meeting with RoMo in the BHF with her tights round her ankles. I thought, oh bugger to Tanya and Sophie...there are much better things on offer.

    I wondered what you would buy me for my 500th Podcast. Would it be a signed photograph of Shriver? Or just a packet of Sophie's stained Marigolds. Well...you know...I do like a bit of the old washing up now and then. Shriver can do my dishes any time.

    Well...after all that...I think I'll go and have a veggie tikka. 'Scuse the tummy rumbles. I have terrible indigestion. Love on ya! Bobsterxxx

    Subscribe to the Robert Swipe show here.

    (Love always, Mollyxxx)


    Then, aroused by the thought of a leatherclad Tanya Beckett....:

    This is just the best ever post. I love it. Wonderful stuff. I might have to *steal* the idea!!! Damn...I'm not supposed to be coming back...I might *have* to just to steal this wonderful idea. Wonderful...truly wonderful. Can I say wonderful again? Really...can I? Oh good. Wonderful.

    Seriously...the comments on this are brilliant aren't they? Just shows how everyone loves you so much.

    Can we have another post about Tanya Beckett as well please? C'mon...you must be able to dig out more pics. You must have a veritable feast of a folder somewhere on your computer. Look...I tell you what...if you do a Tanya Beckett post and can find her wearing leathers...I'll most definitely do a *come* back....ok?


    To quote Jarvis Cocker, Molls - "I'll see what I can do..."



  • THE MOSTER OF RO
  • said:

    Bob - working on it - just to let you know have finally gotten around to sticking stuff up on recovered notebook. Laters xx

    Atta girl! (Readers: note the Swipe-esque plug for the Recovered notebook site...shame she forgot to put the link in...)

    ....then defended the link ommission thus:

    Er..Bob - that's because I don't actually know how to make links within comments. I know! I have the wherewithall to work out how to poohpod but I can't do something as menial as putting a link into a comment box. Is it because I is weird like?

    (walks away 'buie breezer abandone to the gutter outside the BHF shop and tights snagging round the ankles).


    You all think I'm joking about the tights...

    And then she had a proper go:

    Hello Bob Swipe here again me old mucky muckers. Just thought I'd drop another shameless plug for the Julie Christie lookalike has-been that is the Moster of all things Roster. She's finally managed to pull herself away from the 13th Breezer of the day and hoick up the tights. Mind you - I prefer them round the ankles meself - phwoarr - yes - *I would*. Anyway, the cock is still rotting and the calliper's giving me gip as usual but nothing like a good 'Buie Breezer Twicky Ale cockrot-tail won't cure. I'm settling in for a Morrison's salmon paste sandwich and a good old foray through The Romo For Real 7* - apparently she's done a track especially for Geoffster. Not 'alf - *I would*. Anyway don't forget to

    click to itunes for more Bobcast now available!

    click here for regular 'Buie rubs

    click here for more rotting cocks and

    most of all click here for more shameless plugs for Bob!

    Love on ya kidders!


    * Note to readers:- *I* added the link. She may be the Janice Long of the Podcast, but Ro-Mo knows feck all about self-promotion. I don't know - you try to give 'em a start, but *do* they listen?

    Bob

    .....but then this happened:

    You'll be pleased to know that someone just googled "tanya beckett stockings" and arrived at the comments section of my blog. I'm sure they were bitterly disappointed the perverts!

    Disappointed, Ro-Mo? I was *well* fecking gutted!!!


  • THE MURMURISTSTER

  • THE NOT DEAD YETSTER

  • THE POOTSTER

  • THE REALDOCSTER
  • said:

    "Meanwhile, to my female readers, I definately would! Especially Spins and Heather.
    Phoawarrrrr."


    Thanks for that, 'Docster - I'm glad *one* of my female readers has such good taste!!

    (Read the complete post here.....)

  • THE ROBSTER

  • THE SCARY DUCKSTER

  • THE SEANSTER

  • THE SHADES OF GREYSTER

  • THE SHYLSTER

  • THE SID SMITHSTER

  • THE SLOTHSTER

  • THE LOVELY SONSTER

  • THE SPINSTER
  • said:

    Realdoc, Molly and Betty - these are the BEST COMMENTS EVER.

    (I am not clever (or drunk) enough to join in.)


    Spinny gets me just perfectly, doesn't she? Apart from the sobriety, obviously....

    and continued:

    Hello, I'm still too drunk to be making sensiblish comments on Comment is Free, but not nearly drunk enough to BE Bob.

    Or even Roberta.

    Anyhow, did you put that wrack/rack mistake in just to goad me??


    No, I just can't spell Spin. Nerveracking, aren't I?


  • THE TIMSTER
  • said:

    I was browsing in the BHF shop the other day and was delighted to find a mint first edition of Charlie George's autobiography All Spurs Fans Are Gay And Smelly.

    It made me so happy, I almost forgot the seeping mulch of ghastliness that is my cock.

    That Clare Balding, eh? I would.


    To which the Basra Basher responded:

    Yes. Whatever happened to Charlie George?

    He used to run the Arsenal Museum, BB - not sure what he's doing now...

    Then Tim got all serious and bloody well got published in the Grauniad, ferchrissakes - has he *no* shame?????


  • THE TODDSTER

  • THE TROUSER QUANDARY RESOLUTIONSTER

  • THE U.N.STERS

  • THE UNDERPANTSTER


  • THE WHALESTER
  • said:

    Hi. I'm Robert Swipe. I'm In The Mood Again.

    (A few Elvis Costello minutes later...)

    There's a bit of a theme to Bobcast 200 today because (..slurp...) 'scuse me, the throat's been a bit sore lately, (...cough...) think I've a cold coming on and the heating's a bit dodgy in Swipe Towers but anyway, I was on my way home from retrieving a great haul from that charity shop I mentioned once, I think the Mollster was envious at all my finds even though ha, ha ha I haven't got round to reading most of them, anyway I was thinking about how many times I've threatened to stop blogging but still get drawn back to it and you know how it is..when, when (higher pitch now) you've been trying to avoid another Bowie bobcast or the Stones, I thought maybe I'd have a Bobcast about leaving home, or maybe coming home i'm not sure which it's turned out to be actually but anyway, here's a great song, i think it might even have two titles, Naive Melody or Home, This Must Be The Place, anyway, to all you who keep reading, the Talking Heads..."


    Cheers W. If I hadn't been incapacitated and incapable of typing such a long sentence (RSI...) I'd have sworn it really *was* me...


    Finally:

    S. said:

    I'm the funny one!


    Love on y'all and thanks for reading,

    Bob


    Bobcasts now available at iTunes!!

    click here to hear our regular Bobcasts!!

    Subscribe to The Robert Swipe Show




    © 2006 Swipe Enterprises

    37 comments:

    1. I posted my Bob Swipe stylee post on my blog go see.

      ReplyDelete
    2. As Jimmy Corkhill used to say - b'ave.

      It would be virtually impossible to get *all* the Bobster-That-Is-The-Swipester-That-Is-The Bobster style tics and idiosyncracies in, surely?

      Even a Swipe-pissed-at-one-in-the-morning comment with all the typos in would be beyond me. So it looks as if I'll have to be "purged" with syrup and figs then.

      ReplyDelete
    3. Bob - I'll get around to it when we've managed to talk Molly back from the brink. We can't let her disappear. Surely something can be done?

      ReplyDelete
    4. What about bringing back Roberta?

      ReplyDelete
    5. I know who I-Pimp-For-Hobbits is...

      ReplyDelete
    6. Here is my Bob-post for your blog Bobster:

      Well I'd like to say that all of my fifteen readers are commenting up posts for my 500th post..but the bastards are all over the place, plotting to steal computers and well..that is just *not* right. They'll be hopping off to The Grauniad next.

      I'd have hoped that Tanya Beckett could have legged it over here in her leathers but she's gone off with Sophie for some mayonnaise licking sessions in the toilets. Well, what I'd *pay* to see that.

      Meanwhile, back at ver Swipe lodge, I was drinking my Buie Breezers when I thought..I know..I'll do a Podcast. I'll play Roxy and then I'll play The Shangri-la la las. That might get Sophie and Tanya up from their mayonnaise splattered orgy and over here for some good old salad cream induced rioting. Phwoarrrr!

      And then I sat back in my arm-chair. I reached for my Martin Amis. I sipped my Breezer and Twickenham fine ale. I planned my next meeting with RoMo in the BHF with her tights round her ankles. I thought, oh bugger to Tanya and Sophie...there are much better things on offer.

      I wondered what you would buy me for my 500th Podcast. Would it be a signed photograph of Shriver? Or just a packet of Sophie's stained Marigolds. Well...you know...I do like a bit of the old washing up now and then. Shriver can do my dishes any time.

      Well...after all that...I think I'll go and have a veggie tikka. 'Scuse the tummy rumbles. I have terrible indigestion. Love on ya! Bobsterxxx

      Subscribe to the Robert Swipe show here.

      (Love always, Mollyxxx)

      ReplyDelete
    7. Oh, alright, I can't do a whole post but I can bung in an old standby ...

      "I'm speechless! You conniving, randy, bogus, oriental old queen! Your record sleeves are better than your songs!"

      Bobcasts are now available on iTunes!!

      click here to hear our regular Bobcasts!!

      Subscribe to The Robert Swipe Show!!

      Vote for the Robert Swipe Show in the annual Twickenham Blogging Awards!!

      The full range of Robert Swipe Show Thermal Undies is available online now!!

      Buy The Robert Swipe Autobiography - available from all BHF shops at an introductory offer of £12.99 now!!!

      etc, etc ... anything to escape from being purged ...

      ReplyDelete
    8. Realdoc, Molly and Betty - these are the BEST COMMENTS EVER.

      (I am not clever (or drunk) enough to join in.)

      ReplyDelete
    9. I don't mind being purged, Bob...no, *really* I don't.

      It can't be any worse than having to read about Ziggy Woodblum's groopie stories.

      Click here to subscribe to my own ego.

      ReplyDelete
    10. Bob - working on it - just to let you know have finally gotten around to sticking stuff up on recovered notebook. Laters xx

      ReplyDelete
    11. I just can't do it anymore....no seriously....I really mean it this time. This is it. I'm not kidding. It's taking up too much of my life. It's affecting my work, my family, my friends. I'm not eating properly, the dog isn't getting any excercise and I get funny looks from the neighbours. So it is with great regret that I am obliged to pull, finally and irrevocably the old cyber plug. Sorry folks but it has to be done. No more. Finito. Bye...love y'all ... feel free to comment... Bob

      ReplyDelete
    12. Er..Bob - that's because I don't actually know how to make links within comments. I know! I have the wherewithall to work out how to poohpod but I can't do something as menial as putting a link into a comment box. Is it because I is weird like?

      (walks away 'buie breezer abandone to the gutter outside the BHF shop and tights snagging round the ankles).

      ReplyDelete
    13. OK i'm crap at this. I don't think I could do a whole post. The only thing I can think to say is

      Well they've done it those *cunts* they've sacked the manager, i mean what do we do now....

      I hope that will do I know it's very rushed but i'm off on holiday tomorrow and what with my dad deciding to have a heart attack (albiet a mild one) a couple of weeks back i'm really not sure whether i'm on my arse or my elbow here. I did however manage to get your * little stars* in along with the c word, that should merit at least a point for trying

      ReplyDelete
    14. Hello, I'm still too drunk to be making sensiblish comments on Comment is Free, but not nearly drunk enough to BE Bob.

      Or even Roberta.

      Anyhow, did you put that wrack/rack mistake in just to goad me??

      ReplyDelete
    15. Hello Bob Swipe here again me old mucky muckers. Just thought I'd drop another shameless plug for the Julie Christie lookalike has-been that is the Moster of all things Roster. She's finally managed to pull herself away from the 13th Breezer of the day and hoick up the tights. Mind you - I prefer them round the ankles meself - phwoarr - yes - *I would*. Anyway, the cock is still rotting and the calliper's giving me gip as usual but nothing like a good 'Buie Breezer Twicky Ale cockrot-tail won't cure. I'm settling in for a Morrison's salmon paste sandwich and a good old foray through The Romo For Real 7 - apparently she's done a track especially for Geoffster. Not 'alf - *I would*. Anyway don't forget to

      click to itunes for more Bobcast now available!

      click here for regular 'Buie rubs

      click here for more rotting cocks and

      most of all click here for more shameless plugs for Bob!

      Love on ya kidders!

      ReplyDelete
    16. What the world needs now is a chance to hear Kenny Lynch's marvelous cover of Misery. Maybe then we stand a chance of understanding our fellow man and living together in peace and harmony. That HAS to be the reason that the Lynchster recorded it doesn't it? I certainly cant't think of any other purpose behind it. The man is a diplomatic genius, have you ever seen him and Kofi Annan in the same room at the same time? Thought not. Hmmmmmm, makes you wonder...
      Regards and Rrrreinemachefrau,
      Howesy

      ReplyDelete
    17. Not sure what happened there Robert. Drunk? Yes. Trying to be funny? Yes. Worried about being misunderstood? Yes. Sorry? Not much. Will it all come back to haunt me? Probably.

      Jamerson only ever used one finger you know.

      ReplyDelete
    18. "Rrrreinemachefrau" - I love it when I hear an obscure comic reference from someone I've never met!

      Swipemeister, this is the funniest post you've had in a good while. Does that tell you anything?

      ReplyDelete
    19. Bob how could anyone ever impersonate you? You are an original, a one off, a veritable receptacle of uniqueness, I wouldn't dare to try (plus I'm probably not barmy enough)...does going phwoarrr Heathster count?

      ReplyDelete
    20. This is just the best ever post. I love it. Wonderful stuff. I might have to *steal* the idea!!! Damn...I'm not supposed to be coming back...I might *have* to just to steal this wonderful idea. Wonderful...truly wonderful. Can I say wonderful again? Really...can I? Oh good. Wonderful.

      Seriously...the comments on this are brilliant aren't they? Just shows how everyone loves you so much.

      Can we have another post about Tanya Beckett as well please? C'mon...you must be able to dig out more pics. You must have a veritable feast of a folder somewhere on your computer. Look...I tell you what...if you do a Tanya Beckett post and can find her wearing leathers...I'll most definitely do a *come* back....ok?

      ReplyDelete
    21. You'll be pleased to know that someone just googled "tanya beckett stockings" and arrived at the comments section of my blog. I'm sure they were bitterly disappointed the perverts!

      ReplyDelete
    22. sorry 'bout the non contributo, didn't have a bloody clue mate! couldn't think of anything witty to say, just to let you know....I hope to be sending an mp3 your way sometime tonight..hope it works? JDA...

      ReplyDelete
    23. "i feel a themed bobcast coming on". omigod, what have i done?!?!

      ReplyDelete
    24. It's just not working, is it. I thought as much. I gave it my best shot but there comes a time in real life that you realise that (maybe, just maybe) your mum and dad weren't trying to fuck you up and that (maybe, just maybe) their suggestion of a career in quantity surveying was best.

      So that's it then. Bobcast 732 will be the final one. I've given up the audio; the novel is being shelved and the rubber gear's going back as we found that was the cause of the nob-rot. No more Cuntiad, it's the Express for me from now on. No more fretting over reads or wondering if the producer from the Archers is reading and is going to give me that break. The Bobster's off to night school in Roehampton to learn to count. Numbers are truth. I tried, I really tried but the words have fucked me up.

      Right, farewell Swipesters...

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    25. Quite a post. Keep 'em coming and here's to the next 500.

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    26. Oh yes, well done on the 500 thing.

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    27. Bob - if you're gonna do a themed Beatles covers podcast thing, don't forget to include "Tomorrow Never Knows" by Living Colour.

      Dave Gregory did a fantastic spot on cover of "Strawberry Fields Forever", which is nearly indistinquishable from the original.

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    28. I can't do it, Bob - either the Bobalike post or the Podcast. I'm just happy to be part of the gang after so many years of isolation and I don't want to be kicked out for a lack of application. I don't want to be the first of the gang to die, like silly old Hector.

      Just listened to the cod cast which has inspired me to do a Judge Dredd post. Much maligned, Judge Dredd, but did you know he was a big influence on the Rude Bude Rudeboy label, the filthy Cornish rival to Two Tone? Jethro's Big Portion album would have been massive if it wasn't for Red Wedge.

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    29. Hi. I'm Robert Swipe. I'm In The Mood Again.

      (A few Elvis Costello minutes later...)

      There's a bit of a theme to Bobcast 200 today because (..slurp...) 'scuse me, the throat's been a bit sore lately, (...cough...) think I've a cold coming on and the heating's a bit dodgy in Swipe Towers but anyway, I was on my way home from retrieving a great haul from that charity shop I mentioned once, I think the Mollster was envious at all my finds even though ha, ha ha I haven't got round to reading most of them, anyway I was thinking about how many times I've threatened to stop blogging but still get drawn back to it and you know how it is..when, when (higher pitch now) you've been trying to avoid another Bowie bobcast or the Stones, I thought maybe I'd have a Bobcast about leaving home, or maybe coming home i'm not sure which it's turned out to be actually but anyway, here's a great song, i think it might even have two titles, Naive Melody or Home, This Must Be The Place, anyway, to all you who keep reading, the Talking Heads..."

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    30. "{..sorry to intrude on all the fun, but Bobcast21 is up now....)"

      Fun? What fun? Have I missed something?

      Again?

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    31. Would it be appropriate at this point to remind Swiper B that Blog 501 is long overdue? Or is Sir Bob too busy catering for the I-Bob generation with Bobcast #611 or whatever c**ting ((c)Swipe2004) number he's up to now?

      My poor humour is entirely unrelated to QPR 2 Hull 0 by the way. Thieving Cockney gits. Well done on sorting out the Blades though...do you know that N-E-I-L W-A-R-N-O-C-K is known as Colin by many of those who know him well. I wonder why?

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    32. Nevermind Stray. What matters is that Palace beat Coventry. Again.

      Bob - #21 was another winner!
      Shame you had to spunk 79pence on that crappy Living Colour rendition of 'Tomorrow Never Knows'.
      I could've emailed that one to ya!

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    33. ...and another thing!
      Depcast v2.5 is out now.
      Never mind the 'quality' presentation...it's all about the music, aint it Bobby?

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      See you.

      ReplyDelete