TB: .....here, Soph. Can I ask you something?
SR: Mmm hmm.
TB: You know when you did the online shop?
SR: ...Mmm hmm...
TB: Did you remember the salad cream?
SR: Look, Tans, you *know* I prefer mayonaise. Salad cream's common...
TB: .....So you didn't get any??
SR: Apparently not. You'll just have to go without, won't you?
TB: ....So just because you've got a stuck up, pompous opinion of my favourite lunchtime condiment, I have to go without - is that it?....
SR: Well, we have to maintain our standards, don't we... anyway, what's wrong with mayo?
TB: I just don't like the taste, Soph...if it's all the same to you... how about you, Desiree - do you prefer salad cream or mayo?
Desiree: Gotta be mayo, sister...salad cream's chav city, innit?
TB: Thanks for nothing, D.
SR: See, it's reduced fat and everything. If you'd taken my advice, you wouldn't be busting out of your stockings, pinging the elastic again - I don't know - honestly. Those hold-ups'll be round your ankles in no time..
TB: Oh Pee!
SR: Well, you will smear that disgusting stuff over everything. I mean, I can understand it with a salad...but puddings....??
TB: So you wouldn't even let me have some...even if I gave you flowers.....??
SR: Oh Tans, they're lovely! Where did you get them?
TB: Sally Army again. Had to distract the Sergeant Major type though by fiddling with my bra until he disappeared to the conveniences - I'll do anything for a dollop - can't you understand a woman with a craving??
SR: Thanks Tans - Well I'll go stick them in some water and think about it. Honestly, if it wasn't for that Godot I'm sure we wouldn't row so much....Oh well, suppose I'd better stick the kettle on......minty choc drinks all round girls??
ALL: Mmmm hmmmm!!
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Tanya still rules...you know your stats will go through the roof now that you've done something on her. Mine did when I mentioned her in leathers.
ReplyDeleteAnd anyways...salad cream is much nicer. Mayonnaise is for wimps. I find that mixing the last bit with vinegar helps to give it that extra 'edge' and 'bite' that I'm really going for. Rock on Salad Cream!
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You are forgiven your common condiment fixation Mollster - provided you leave your blog up when you "retire" of course!
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself,
Bobsterxx
I fucking hate salad cream me, but I'd still drag myself naked over broken glass to be able to slurp it out of Sophie Raworth's armpits.
ReplyDelete