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Thursday, 29 March 2007

Tanya Beckett and Sophie Raworth are *STILL* Waiting For Godot...

TB:, Soph. Can I ask you something?

SR: Mmm hmm.

TB: Did you see that Jools Laing on BBC London News this morning?

SR: ...Uh-uh...

TB: Really, *what* a *hussy*...

SR: Why so, Tans??...

TB: .....split skirt, open at the front, legs akimbo - you could see halfway to paradise and back - not an *ounce* of shame...

SR: Well, I hardly think you're one to be casting aspersions about the deportment of BBC London Travel Update Bulletin presenters, Miss Hoity-Toity, "I've-got-my-own-Business-Brunch-Supplement-come-and-stare-at-my-knockers-on-BBC-News-24-that-*nobody*-outside-the-Swiss-Banking-fraternity-watches-anyway"..

TB: ....excuse me??..

SR: Well, it's *true*. Tans, much as I love you Babe, I'd be lying if I said otherwise.

TB: Have you got a *clue* what she's talking about, Desiree?

Desiree: Talk to the hand sistah - I ain't gettin' involved in *no* shit* with you two again, innit? You is *both* tramp far as I's concerned...

TB: Thanks for nothing, D.

SR: I mean, look at you now, even as I speak to you - busting out all over the place, flashing a garter at every Tom, Dick and Turnbull like some cheap, over-perfumed lady of the night, stalking her innocent prey in the press-lounges of Geneva...

TB: Oh Pee, you're right - me garter's gone again!

SR: Is it an age thing, do you think, T....??

TB: Thanks for being a true friend Soph - there's hundreds of T.V. news anchors who'd have been more than happy to see me carrying on like this, slinking around like a teenage vamp when I can scarcely stay stood up without holding onto Dermot Curry for my osteoporosis...I'm a martyr to it. Here, Soph. - have some flowers for being such a great pal.....

SR: Oh Tans, they're lovely! Sorry if I was a bit hard on you. Where did you get them?

TB: Sally Army. It's about the only place I can hold my head now they've closed down the soup kitchen behind Kings Cross & St. Pancras. "Blood and Fire" and all that - it's not *half* as bad as it sounds and you *do* get to sing hymns and bang on a tambourine after. It'll come to you one day, trust me...

SR: Thanks Tans - although I think I've got a few good years at the Saracens left in me yet! Which reminds me - bring and buy sale Saturday to pay for my new kneepads. You will come? Well I'll just go stick them in some water and sort through a couple more bin liners. Honestly, if that Godot isn't here before 4pm, he can lump his cowing Indian head massage....

Oh well, suppose I'd better stick the kettle on......minty choc drinks all round girls??

ALL: Mmmm hmmmm!!

L.U.V. on y'all,


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  1. This series is longer than the original now.

  2. But funnier, I hope Billy...?

    Hope you're feeling better,

    L.U.V. on ya,