Bob's Undisclosed Caribbean Location diary - day 1!!

Hi Swipesters!!

And what a beautiful day it is here in A****ua!! Sorry I can't be more precise about my exact location but, you know how it is. Security and all that. Suffice to say that by the time Negrita had finished with me, I was as smooth as Telly Savalas after an all-over Brazilian! I will be standing well away from the pool table for a while, you can believe it!!

Boy, can that girl mix cocktails! Here's just a sample of what's been glug-glugging its way down the famous Swipe neck:

Black Magic:

1 part vodka
2 parts yoghourt
3 parts paint striper
4 parts yak sputum
7 parts rum


Bob's verdict: give's you a head like a stormtroopers helmet in the morning but dang it's worth it!


Roadrunner:

1 part caracao
3 bars dark chocolate
18 parts rum
15 parts ginseng
12 parts nitro-glycerine

Bob's verdict: Shit me, that's strong!

Steel donkey

3 parts local Waddadli beer
12 parts brandy
1 part ice

Bob's verdict: Frashhummfugginpisssshhhdertodal!!!




But it's not all cocktails on the beach. 14 hours of rampant bodyily inspection from Columbia's foremost female impersonator have left me wilting like a leaf! Time for my midday hammock.


More tommorow (if I can keep that fiendish south American's tongue out of my ear for 5 seconds...)


Love on y'all,


Bob