As regular readers will be aware, I try to maintain a balanced and fair view of world events and that's why, in the main I try keep the postings here on The Robert Swipe Show largely apolitical. I am also, as you will all no doubt agree, quite a stickler for respect and observing the basic common courtesies to all peoples, regardless of their race, creed or color....apart from the Muslims, obviously.... But, at this time of great national trauma and crisis, as I like to believe all citizens of this wonderful country would not, I feel I cannot sit back and remain silent in the face of an external threat to our way of life that is worse even than the awful natural calamity currently being visited upon us. I'm talking, of course, about The French.
Not content with being cheese eating surrender monkeys and subjecting innocent people the world over to "She, she may be the face I can't forget..." the Frenchies are now plotting to use our national tragedy as cover for a fiendish and dastardly invasion attempt. Yes, it's true! Under the pretext of a humanitarian operation on US soil, the frogs are planning to replace our nutritious, rice paper-based freedom fries with pathetic little sticks of real potato. Jeez, they don't even fry them - it's sautee, of course...A French spokes man outlined the cunning plan to a fiendish Chinese newsagency the other day:
"Our operational humanitarian aid group is going to meet to study the civilian and military means that France could make available from French regions and the French West Indies," said French Foreign Ministry's spokesman, Denis Simmoneau.
Yeah, right. OK, I think we can safely infer from the phrase "Military means" what that little euphemism will entail. But what of the more ominous "civilian" ones? Well, listen up, Claude - if you think us yankees are going to sit back while you teach us to mince around in a dapper little suit, maybe even a long trenchcoat and fedora, carrying an effeminate little dog around as we smoke Gauloise and spend a euro fortune on disgusting Camembert in Prix unic and Mono Prix, well, lemme tell ya - you dago bastards've got a nother think coming!! We'd rather see the streets of our major metropolitan centres descend into chaos and anarchy before we succumb to your filthy, degenerate European ways!
So hop off frogs and leave us to mop this mess up ourselves!!!!
Love on ya'all