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Wednesday, 21 September 2005

Yoga with GMTV's Penny Smith! Lesson 4

"The Mongoloid"

Penny says: "You may have thought it was just a cheap shot at all the crippled kids at your local comprehensive, but the "Mongoloid" (or "Mong") is one of the most energy efficient positions in yoga. Remember that a beatific, vacant expression is the key for maximum sputum shedding. You can lose up to 14 pounds an hour (beat that Dr. Atkins!) in excess drool if you get it right. (I usually think of Jose Mourinho gobbling me senseless in the Stamford Bridge directors box during a thrill-free 1-0 home win against Birmingham City and that normally keeps me moist for hours. Orally, of course!) Arm placement is also key, but you'll find it's just like riding a bike - it all comes back to you as soon as you get back in the saddle! I can spend hours like this, on my enormous padded giant flute, effortlessly toning my perfectly proportioned limbs whilst shedding a few pounds and causing incalculable offence to the pupils at the special school opposite my house!"

Love on y'all,


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