Yo Swipesters!!
Well, much as we hate to use this great news as an opportunity to shamelessly big-up our own product in the hope of raising the share price of Rothergavenny's fastest growing web resource, but thanks to our loyal and magnificently endowed readers, The Robert Swipe Show is sitting pretty at NUMBER 7 (THAT'S NUMBER S-E-V-E-N!!!) in the Top Comedy Sites chart at time of going to press!! What a fantastic effort you've all made - I really don't know how you've done it! (Well, when I say I don't know how you've done it, I'm being slightly disingenuous, obviously, as I've already encouraged you on these very pages to lie, cheat, swindle and feign terminal illness - in fact, to do just about anything in and outside of the law to get the show to that coveted Number One Spot - but play along with me, willya?)
Spandau Ballet's Tony Hadley - he's voted for Bob. Have you?
So, much as we hate to become inveigled in an unseemly and ungentlemanly popularity contest with our fellow humorous sites (...like, who am I kidding here?...), I implore all of you to make one last lunging and desperate effort to vote for us over at the Top Comedy Sites page and give us all something to be uniquely proud of us by making the Show this year's CHRISTMAS NUMBER ONE!!!! After all, we are only a humble, self-financing blog that out of noble principle chooses not to subject you to advertisements as you peruse our hysterically amusing (or, if you're the tosser who described us as "aggresively unfunny" - aggressively unfunny) content free of charge...but, I'm not going to try and guilt trip anyone into anything....
Lumley: "Vote for Bob and I'll talk cheap and dirty down the phone to you..."
The Christmas Number One - wow, wouldn't that be something!? So, please, spare no thought for dignity, legality or the dubious morality of exchanging sexual favours for a move one place up the chart - this is no time for feint hearts or welded chastity belt. I beseech you all in the name of everything that is mildy amusing and occasionally a little bit racy - cry God for Bobby, Rothergavenny and St. David!!!
Artist's impression of a moustachioed Bob, regally sat at Number One for Christmas...
Not convinced? OK - here's the deal: if we make number one before Christmas Day, I'll post up a pic of Roberta's boobies!!!
Love on y'all,
Bob
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