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Tuesday, 20 December 2005

Yasmin and Bianca Join Our Campaign to Induct Duran Duran into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!!

Yoplait Swipesters!!

Great news today for our campign to induct 80s super group Duran Duran into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. We received two generous messages of support from a couple of very high profile supporters today and we feel that there's a real momentum building behind our petition to get the lovable playboys of Thatcherite pop the recognition they deserve for giving us such classics as The Reflex, Hungry Like the Wolf, Planet Earth and, lots of others!!

Earlier today, we received the following communication from journalist and author Yasmin Alibhai-Brown:

Dear Mr. Stipe,

One of the things that makes me proudest about living in this country is the huge wealth of popular music that excites and unites our young people of all ethnic origins and class backgrounds. I've always been amazed at how young people with seemingly little else in common can brought together by the democracy of the dance floor. I can't say I've ever heard of the group that you have persistently pestered me to sign the petition for, Mr. Stipe (and, may I say that I hope you will take my response here as a signal that it is time to desist from sending further communications to me) but as your own keen interest in their being recognised has prompted you to send me several thousand letters over the past 18 months, I feel it is the least I can do to beg your readers to join me in signing the petition to induct the aforementioned group into whatever it was that you said you wanted them to be inducted into.

I trust that this is the last I shall be hearing from you on the subject.


Yasmin Alibhai-Brown

I'm sure you'll all agree that Yasmin's beautifully worded pleas will do our campaign no end of good. But better still was to come with the second post. We found the following scrawled on a piece of paper wrapped around a stone that had miraculously crashed through the third floor window here at Swipe Towers, concussing Brenda from accounts and causing an unfortunate overbite incident that necessitated Graham from advertising having to be rushed to casualty (..although, I'm sure Graham doesn't need me to remind him that he really shouldn't have let her go down there in the first place - what with Brenda's reputation and the small matter that she is 8 months pregnant as we speak...)

To whom it may concern:

I do not like Duran and I do not like that you contact me with such persistence about inducing them in your silly Fame Hall. I have had enough of your Rock and Roll to last several live times. Oh sure, it fine at first - marry him in South France, champagne, cocktails, Terry and his All Gold. But then he tire of you and it is all "me, me, me, me, me" and when you tell him that you had enough chocolate to last a month, it is no good - still he beg and threaten to write song about you if you not complying him with bizarre cunnilingus request. So, no more of your Duran - I would not vote them if you pay me. I go into politics and kindly ask you spare thought for the rainforests from the country what I come from - not your two pence halfpenny disco oompah group with the big hair and the big belly.

Saving the trees, please,


So Swipesters, please, just one more push and we can give Simon, Roger, John and Nick the nicest Christmas present imaginable - a place in that good ol' Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. So, sign here, and make the dream real!!

Love on y'all,


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