You will be aware that over the last few months this august publication has been, to say the least, sailing in troubled financial waters. We have been unable to maintain the payments on loans secured in order to boost our flagging sales and we are in the perilous position of having a team of staff who, though dedicated and loyal to a fault, have not been paid for several months. Not to put too fine a point on it, financially we've taken a big one up the Gary and a clip 'round the ear for good measure. As an editorial board, we therefore feel impelled to issue a statement to quell some of the more virulent rumours that have been circulating the blogosphere regarding the future of The Robert Swipe Show and to make clear our intentions as to its long term viability. The statement we have prepared reads as follows:
We, the editorial board, wish to state categorically that we have no plans whatever to offer advertising space on the hallowed pages of The Robert Swipe Show. We have already refused several offers from a variety of commercial sectors, all of which have been dismissed out of hand. We collectively share a desire and commitment to maintain a weblog that is free at the point of use and which is not tainted by any association whatever with vested interests in the business world. This, we are convinced, is the only way to maintain our previously and current high standards of journalism and commentary. We hope that our readers share our pride in this stance and will continue to make us the most widely read weblog in a small, rural outpost of Wales with no regular supply of electricity.
The Editorial Board of The Robert Swipe Show.
So, with that business out of the way, on with today's post....
A busy day here at Swipe Towers as we have decided to upgrade the Office Nanopod....
But what to replace it with??
Fortunately, those kind people over at Apple have a simply astounding range of pods and accesories to choose from... (they really are the best company in the world, aren't they??) So, should we go for the new 60BG
Or perhaps the highly sought after
(Stocks are very low, apparently, so better get one while you still can....)
And why not invest in the new i-Dodd
and keep that tattyfilarious gizmo of yours spick and span with a customised Apple tickling stick!
Then there' the i-god
(due to fear of being hounded by militant extremists, we are unable to publish an image of the i-god but, trust us - it rocks!)
Or, if you want to dispense with that effeminate, metrosexual look and go for something a little bit more tres butch, there's this
the 80GB i-hod. It can store up to 24 average sized bricks and comes in an easy-to- carry, on the shoulder configuration. Ideal for those quiet weekends spent building a massive wall to keep those troublesome Palestinian neighbours of yours at bay!!
Sixties music buffs should get a load of this,
the i-mod which comes complete with a dozen or so mirrors and fully inflatable lips for that to die for trout pout effect...
Or do you fancy asking observational questions of young children concerning clips from Children's Film Foundation movies that no one has ever seen?
Then the i-Rodd is most definitely the one for you!
Or gardeners may prefer the
Whilst prog rock devotees may feel more comfortable sashaying around with this,
But what ever you buy, you're definitely going to need one of these.....
(...and then you give it to us, obviously....)
Decisions, decisions, eh??
Love on y'all,
© 2006 Swipe Enterprises