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Tuesday, 14 February 2006

My Secret Admirers

Yowser Yowser Yowser!!!

Well Swipesters, it's that time of year again! Regular readers will know how much I dread February 14th coming around. In fact, I almost get as apprehensive this time of year as my long-suffering postman does. Well, this year has been no exception and the poor guy looked as if he was about to expire as he literally fell into my office and offloaded the huge pile of cards, gifts, and (readers of a delicate disposition, please look away now) worn undergarments all over the floor. As expected, this year's is a pretty bumper haul. In fact, I haven't received as much mail as this since the Child Support Agency finally caught up with me - (...well, I guess they were bound to take a look around the women's enclosure at the Finsbury Park Mosque soon or later) So I thought this year, rather than sending the stuff straight down to Oxfam as I usually do, I'd at least open it and see if we couldn't find someway of incorporating the gifts and letters into this post. We had a brainstorming session here at S.T. and hit on the idea of a little competition to match each gift I receive with the secret admirer who sent it. A vat of 'buie/baby oil rub for the first correct entry. (Of the competition, that is - what you get up to on your own time is not my concern...)

Gift 1:

1 copy of The Erotic Review Victoriana edition, 1 x 3 pack of "Sambo" Races of the World novelty condoms (slight tear in the "Cape Coloured" model - possibly deliberate?)

Gift 2:

1 owl pellet and a copy of the BBC Employees' Handbook, pages ripped out from the "Disciplinary procedures" section.

Gift 3:

1 rubber nurse's outfit complete with comedy anal insertion thermometer and edible "Time on my Titties" watch.

Now, which of these celebrities sent me which gift???

Secret admirer A:


Secret admirer B:


Secret Admirer C:


Now, all you need to do is mail in the name of the person you think has sent me each gift.

Answers in tomorrow's post.

Love on y'all,


© 2006 Swipe Enterprises

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