Subscribe to my feed...

Monday, 13 February 2006

Sting Blasts Environmental Impact of Cheap Flights - Exclusive!!

Yo Swipesters!

Following in the wake of Bryan Ferry's recent outspoken attack on the failure of world leaders to grapple with the problem of global warming, former Police frontman Sting has criticised the increasing affordability of flights, claiming that the current level is environmentally unsustainable.

Sting: "gan doon rainforest, like"

The plain speaking geordie, who had flown into Britain from his home in Tuscany to announce the launch of his own home-grown organic olive oil and honey range, said, "Wor lass Trudie and me wuz sayin' just the other night, like, as wor wuz flyin' back from wor house in LA - we cannae keep gannin' on like this, man pet. It's all reet and canny for wor fat, wobbly geordie builders ter swan off ter Malage fer a long weekend of wor sand, sea, sangria and hooliganism, but wad aboot wor planet, though but? Be a canny laddie and haddaway with wor cheap flights, will yuz? Why, wor auld fella - he'd be spinnin' in wor grave. Da' wor a milkman, like - a canny job it is an' all, wi' wor milkfloat and wor peaked cap and wor white coat, like - and he'd always be sain stuff like, "wor milk bottle's a canny example of wor recycling young Gordon, though but (...I divna know why, but wor Da' always called us Gordon, like) When tha grows up fer bein' a wee bairn, tha shouldst leave over pluckin' wor guitar and gan doon wor rainforest an' tell wor man wi' a greet spoon in wor mooth all aboot it, though but. So that's what wor did, like."

Wor Trudie: "her's a canny lass, though but"

The enigmatic musician and actor continued, "Wor Trudie wuz jes sayin' the other day like, as we wuz boardin wor plane to wor 16th Century Tuscan villa, that wuz oughtta start sellin' wor own olive oil and hinny, man. Tha's nowt ter do with wor global warming, like, but wor lass reckons wor gan screw a canny few bob outta it, though but. I'm gan doon wor farmer's market reet noo wi' wor wheelbarrer fulla wor first batch. Reet canny scran it is too, man - an' wuv gan fer a reet canny mark up an' all! Wor'll not be wearing wor black and amber hooped sweater, mind. Wor looks enough like a bee as it is wi'oot gettin' stung up wor chuffer an' all, though but! Wor bees gan mad when wor teks wor hinny! Still, beats walkin' on wor moon, mind. Why-aye and howay wor toon!"

© 2006 Swipe Enterprises

No comments:

Post a Comment