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Wednesday, 8 February 2006

Ask Mariella - Eno/Cale Edition

Yo Swipesters!!

Well, after Monday's post we were literally inundated with comments - so much so that I couldn't get out from under the mailbag to post anything Tuesday! Indeed, there wouldn't have been a post today had Mariella Frostrup not very kindly agreed to come in on her day off to help answer your queries (...that is some all-over body rub!! Women are just putty in my hands at the thought of a tub full of that 'buie/Johnsons mix...)

So, over to you Mariella....

Thanks Roberta,

Spinsterella writes:

I get Eno and John Cale confused. I don't know why.

(I'm currently finding Cale extremely attractive. He's 33 years older than me. Is this wrong?)

Cale: Welsh, talentless, a bastard....I could go on...

Mariella says:

Well Spinny,

First off - Eno's the bald one who does lectures instead of press conferences and Cale is the Welsh one who can't sing. Or play the viola for that matter. A word to the wise, Spin - steer clear of the Welsh. I know I shouldn't say this in front of Roberta, but they're a big bunch of bastards to man. When they're not grizzling about how they always get beaten at the "Rwgbi", and the decline of the mining industry, they're prattling on about how we steal all their water and setting fire to our holiday cottages. I'd give him a wide berth if I were you my love. Eno's a different propostion altogether mind. Goes like the clappers, I'm told.

Spinny: go with Eno. He's not Welsh...

Tim writes:

Is it just me, or does Ms Raworth resemble former rudeness queen Marilyn Chambers?

Raworth: dainty English rose...

Chambers: disgusting sex tramp...

Mariella says:

Good spot Tim. I'm reliably informed that the resemblance becomes even more uncanny after several rum based cocktails and a line or two of finest Columbian. How BBC news presenters can afford to get themselves into such a state of sensory derangement on the pittance they're paid, I don't know - but her live snake juggling/yard of ale routine is apparently a sight to behold in the Beeb staff canteen.

Brian writes:

I danced within an elven ring of quicksilver delight, so I did....

Mariella says:

Brian, this is none of my business, but did you not perhaps get the English National Opera's latest production mixed up with the weekly RHPS shindig? The last time I remember anyone dancing with quicksilver delight at that particular company was during a production of Peter Grimes starring Bryn Terfel. Apparently, by the end, his ring was so elven he couldn't sit down for a week. But then, as I told Spinny, that's the Welsh for you - they're all bastards...

Tim writes:

Spinsterella - not only have Eno and Cale collaborated, they both walked out of really great bands, after which said bands became a bit rubbish, and overly dominated by their prima donna-ish singers.

Mariella says:

Spinny - I think you're in there. I'd get your butt on the first plane out to Bangkok and tie this fellow down to matrimony before he runs off with the first scantily clad lady boy who offers him an all over body rub and a bite of saveloy. Go for it Lady!

A. Radiographer writes:

oh come on Shirley, seven deadly fins, innit?

Mariella says:

A, I think you'll find Bob is right ...

Still, for name-dropping an obscure Eno single, you win this week's star letter prize - an all over body-rub with the liqueur of your choice!

I'll be over as soon as I can junk the rest of these letters. Please warm your hands up first though, won't you...

Mariella xxx

Love on y'all,


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