We are sad to announce the criminally premature passing of Welsh Country Music Legend Roberta Swipe who died this weekend in a Salinas motel of various alcohol related complications at the tender age of 26. Roberta had just won the prestigious Expatriate Welshman Currently Resident in Southern Californian Award for best newcomer (female) and was runner up in the Guess the Weight of the Heifer competition (6lb, 3 ounces...) at the Salinas Eiysteddfod and it is believed that she overdid the ensuing celebrations somewhat. Several hours after being found by the motel maid, Swipe's stomach was still being drained of what appears to have been a lethal cocktail of Drambuie based alco-fruit drinks and carpet cleaner. Her liver had bloated to about 5 times normal size, but was quite remarkably free from muddy foot prints, fluff and dust.
"The Texas Rose of the Valleys" as she was known to many (to most others, she was a big gobbed slapper who couldn't keep her legs together for more than 30 seconds at a stretch...but that's another matter...) left a small but impeccable body of work behind (as well as a pretty big bill at the liquor store...)
To hear her work, please visit the myspace tribute page we have set up in her honour by clicking on the beautiful image of the much-missed songstress or going here:
http://www.myspace.com/robertaswipe
Thank you for your time and God bless the spirit and memory of Roberta!
xxxx
'Berta
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© 2006 Swipe Enterprises
Very sad news. Poor Roberta. She was just trying to come to terms with her sexuality I think.
ReplyDeleteI see she managed to sign the post that notified us of her premature demise, now that's talent!
ReplyDeleteShe was a light that burned oh, so brightly and yet so briefly. (sniff)
ReplyDeleteGood career move Bobbsy! Who's your agent?
Don't be fooled everybody - she's a cunning minx and works in pyramid-selling to unsuspecting ex-slot addicts in Las Vegas. Her real name is Trailene T Rash and due to a mysterious childhood 'incident' is only 3'9" tall.
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