As any of our regular readers who have taken the time to check out the site meter at the bottom of this blog will know, we are currently zooming on towards attracting our 20,000 visitor. Given the avowedly non-mainstream ethos of our editorial board (not to mention the rather extreme political opinions occasionally disseminated here), we are - to say the least - proaud and pleasantly surprised by the incredible response our little blog has stirred up - especially as we never anticipated getting into three figures, never mind five. So, in order to commemorate this amazing milestone, if and when we reach it, we thought it would be appropriate to engage the thoughts and feelings of our loyal readers in deciding upon a suitable garland to bestow upon the lucky 20,000th reader!
Here are a few thoughts we had as to what might make a nice little memento for Swipester number two-quadruple-zero:
a) Hour long 'Buie/Baby lotion rub courtesy of Rowan Pelling (with special discount voucher for all future premium felat-o-ssage services!)
b) Free signed copy of Bob's guide to investing the £350,000 gift you received from the Italian Premier for lying about the funding of his bribes, 2006 edition - with free Remortgaging behind your Oxbridge educated spouse's back for dummies! Supplement thrown in!
c) Free Cheslea Champions League quarter finals season ticket stub and Ryanair voucher to the away leg of your choice!
d) A year's subscription to Rubber Nurse - the organ of choice for Europe's finest Healthcare Professional Fetishists!
e) 15 copies of The Long Blondes Calendar, 2005
(April & May are slightly soiled)
f) 1 collection of incriminating snaps featuring actress Kate O'Mara cavorting with a senior Cabinet minister who is dressed up as a llama:
(Ya think that's good - wait'll ya see the money shot!!)
So, fire away - but be quick! We're expecting visitor number 20,000 any week now!!!
Love on y'all,
Bob
© 2006 Swipe Enterprises
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