The Robert Swipe Show Easter Appeal

This is Bryan.

Not a bad old life really, is it Bryan?

Once a week, Mrs. Prentiss might pop in for a natter for half an hour.

A pot of tea and the telly on in the background, nice and quiet like.

Once he's had the visit from Meals on Wheels, he'll probably sit like this for a few hours before retiring to bed early.

Saves on the bills that way, doesn't it Bryan?

Bryan lives here on his own, you see.

Has done since his old ladytron passed on.

Not a day goes past that he doesn't think of dear old Else.

They were a handsome couple in their day, mind.

Doing it on the tables.

Quaglino's place.

Or Mabel's.

But now the party's over.....

It's just Bryan.

And his armchair.

And a card he wrestled off one of those people who hassle you in the street about some bloody homeless charity or other.

Tossers.

But they're not getting a penny of Bryan's money, are they?

Chance'd be a fine thing, eh Bryan?

Old as you are, eh?

Wouldn't get any even if you had it to give, would they Bryan?

So, not a bad old life at all, really, when you look at it.

If it wasn't just so..........

well, lonely really.

But it doesn't have to be like this for Bryan. For just £8,000 return, Bryan could be flying down to Rio, club class. Or meeting up with Baby Jane in Acapulco. A further ten or twenty thousand pounds could really help Bryan get both ends burning with a fairly substantial mound of finest Columbian cocaine, a few bottles of the finest champagne and entry to the most exclusive clubs the world has to offer. Who knows, for a round ton perhaps even a private aircraft or a yacht and his own stately home with extensive grounds and domestic staff to attend to his every idle care.

So, Valerie, please....give Bryan's festive period everything you'd want for your own grandfather and donate generously to our appeal this Easter. With your help, Bryan could be enjoying the thrill of it all with a whirlwind break in Amazona with Mother of Pearl or Virginia Plain. So you see, in every dreamhome, there doesn't have to be a heartache....


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Love on y'all,



Bob











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