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Wednesday, 1 March 2006

There's a Guy Works Down The Chip Shop Swears he's Elvis!!

......he's there most evenings at The Rock 'n' Roe Fish Bar in the High Street. In his drainpipe suit, skinny tie and oversized glasses, he'll put the cheap Woolies karaoke machine on and sneer and snarl his way through a piscatorially adapted greatest hits medley:

(The angels wanna wear my)Red snappers
Cod's comic
(I don't want to go to) Chel-Sea bass
Oliver's mahi-mahi
Goon squid
Clowntime is Dover sole
Fish 'n' chip paper
Brilliant Mist-Hake
Our little angel fish
Let him Angle

Before getting smashed on Pernod and picking a fight with a passing Ray Charles lookalikey over an unpaid for and half eaten gherkin. I swear, if I hear him warbling "...she, she may be the plaice I can't forget" one more time.....

Love on ya,


(Note: unfortunately, there is no web-based documentation - pictorial or textual - that I was able to trace of the Rock 'n' Roe Fish Shop, New Malden on which this piece is based. Patrons fortunate enough to have witnessed the owner (a one-hit wonder form the sixties) doing his star turn (a medley of rock 'n' roll classics performed in his own inimitable stylee - "we got skate, haddock and roe" to the tune of Shake, rattle and roll etc.) will, I trust, appreciate the parody. If anyone can furnish me with any more information concerning that venerable establishment, I would be eternally grateful....)

© 2006 Swipe Enterprises

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