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Monday, 1 August 2005

Witty woman

Apologies to the thousands of you reading this post expecting the usual penetrating insights and humourous observations on the state of mankind etc. Sorry, but this is a personal message, so if you're not , repeat, not called Witty Woman, then please stop reading this right now, OK?

Right, where was I? Oh yeah. Witty woman (the kind I like to meet...?) Thank you for your very kind words concerning my version of the National Anthem (see 'My profile') I can't tell you how happy I am to know that I have made you laugh and thanks too for your website (I hope you don't mind me linking to it..?) I'd just like to say that I'm with you on the alarm clocks too (jeez, I can't stand those things! My one is from Japan and starts wrestling me at some un-Godly hour of the morning if I so much as turn over on my side...) and I too like the Kinks and Bob Dylan and ELO.

Before I go, I'd just like to let you know that I have come up with another version of the National Anthem just for you. I hope this gives you as much pleasure as the first one (fingers crossed) Here goes:

Miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow
Miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow
miaow miaow miaow miaow.

OK, I know it isn't T.S. Eliot but, who cares?!

Thanks again WW,

Love on ya


OK. That's the personal bit out of the way. The rest of you guys can come back in now.

OK, all settled in? Good. Now, today being a somewhat quiet day here at Swipe Towers, I have decided to introduce an interactive theme to the blog over the next week or so. Quite simply, I just need your input on the subject matter of the next few day's posts. Put frankly, I'm shit bored with the whole dang thing and I've run out of ideas and my life and career are going nowhere...but that's another story. So, I will provide three or four options below and I'd like all of you to get back to me as to which you would like to see put up here. They're all written and ready to roll, so please feel free to be Robert Swipe's editor for a day and send those demands hurtling in.

Choose one from:

More Mardin Antler extracts

Why Bob Geldof should be de-knighted

My "fabulous" spoof of T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland" set on a celebrity weight loss island.

My own "humourous" war on terror timeline (are you getting all this, spooks?)

A brief history of time revisited (Stephen Hawking's Creationsit revision of the famous text following his conversion to Christian Fundamentalism.)

Some pornography.

OK. I hope that offers an appetising set of options for you all - as you all know, my aim is to please. That and to make shitloads of moolah.

Lines are open now and will close on Thursday at 5pm (or more realistically, as soon as some one writes in to declare a choice ...if at all.....) If not, goodbye cruel world.

Catch y'all later.

Love on y'all,


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