Subscribe to my feed...

Monday, 1 August 2005

The long slide towards totalitarianism starts here!

Hi Swipe fiends,

Once again my attempts to draw a discrete veil over this site and allow it to join the Hall of Fame of "had their fifteen minutes, what shall we talk about over the water cooler today now we've stopped reading Belle de Jour" blogs have failed (yes, I can so do long sentences with extravagant clauses etc.) A bulging post bag (Cheers the Stridster) has made me recant my avowed intent to send this site sinking to the bottom of the virtual swimming pool in a bizarre Wim Duisenberg/Brian Jones-type fashion. So, you'll both be pleased to know that I am returning to the fray, sleeves rolled up to take on...hmm, let me see - what's the big issue de nose jaws ?(as we say on Capitol Hill)

I guess it's got to be an wanted return to that beastly old War on Terror schtick. Now, you all know me - a more reasonable and tolerant kinda guy you couldn't hope to meet. But - like the Britisher Observer - I gotta say you guys have just gone a teeny bit too far in bowing down to those who would have us circumcise our daughters and think a 80,000 virgins per self immolation is some kinda attractive deal. Now, don't get me wrong - I could use 80,000 virgins myself (although I'm not too sure what for...) - but this is precisely the kinda warped logic that's meant that our guys have had to dispense with our centuries old penal codes and human rights legislation (and, I admit, this has also involved occasionally urinating on your Holy book) in order to keep our society safe from....blah blah blah - you know the drill by now. So, brothers and sisters of the book, I implore you- think very long and hard about the pleasures you are being offered (I mean, 80,000 is just inconceivable, right? I mean, where would you ever find the reserves?) Try Playboy/Penthouse/Forum/Escort - any of the above are available from most reputable newsagents - heck, they don't even wrap them up in brown papier no more. So, give the old guy a tug - sure, you can dream on those 80,000 honeyz all you like, brother - if you feel the frustrations of those all too brief spin around the sun are getting too much for yo' ass. But guys, will you do us all a favour and play with the nail boms somewhere that doesn't include my chums from Swipe Towers UK (Inc.) having to pick pieces of your robes out of their lacerated stomachs?

OK, I hope that's cleared things up.

I have to get a cup of coffee. Back later.

Love on y'all...


No comments:

Post a Comment