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Wednesday, 2 November 2005

Bored with Sudoku? Try Ruu-bi-ku instead!

Hi Swipesters!!

News just in that Sudo-ku is old hat - and how! The smart money is on new brainteasing logic game Ruu-bi-ku to blow away the hackneyed 2-D brain-teaser sudoku and be the number one Christmas gift this festive season. The concept that takes logic games into the quantum region is taking Japan by storm, as people of all ages grapple with the seemingly insoluble problem that is Ruu-bi-ku.

Ruu-bi-ku: "deceptively simple"? Or just a pathetic excuse to get Vorderman on the show?

The new mind-warping entertainment bears a superficial resemblance to 80s playground trend the Rubik cube. However, the repeated cubes of colour squares are about all the two games have in common. Ruu-bi-ku actually operates in all 17 dimensions, as opposed to the mere five in which a normal cube (or even Sudoku!) operates. Consequently, it is quite possible for the lay player to believe that they have solved the problem when, in actual fact, the game is still being played out somewhere else in time, in another part of the universe, by completely different players. Indeed, a common error on the part of beginners is to begin the game, unaware that they have actually already completed the same game in an earlier incarnation or in a parallel universe where John Prescott is a suave, thin gentleman of leisure, David Blunkett can see and is a decent fellow and Roman Abramovich is still a humble serf living in extreme poverty under a draconian and feudal Tsarist state.

Carole Vorderman, seen here modelling a fetching little clingfilm and felt circle number. What Carole wears today, Brian will be wearing tomorrow...

"It's a real bastard to get your head around, actually", said TV clever-clogs Carole Vorderman. "I've been trying to solve this particular problem for the past 200 light years, but it's proving to be quite intractable", said the Countdown hostess.

More Vorderman: "Shit, that's effing hard, that...and the puzzle's not exactly easy!"

"Some people might argue that you can never truly know anything so the game is ultimately unwinnable and not a little pointless. But I disagree. I think it's the sheer difficulty of trying to keep your brain-box concentrated on an infinite number of possibilities in a dozen or so little-known dimensions spread across the entire known (and unknown) universe that makes it such an infuriatingly addictive amusement! After all, Richard Whiteley learned to tie a Windsor knot, so that proves anything's possible."

Hawking: Vocodor-man in almost anagram of Vorderman shock"

Brilliant scientist, Stephen Hawking is among fans of the new game and is working on a book - A brief History of Ruu-bi-ku and how to solve it ten easy steps! that he hopes will give practical help to would-be solvers. "I-t-'-s a s-i-m-p-l-e m-a-t-t-e-r o-f p-h-y-s-i-c-s" said the eminent Physicist. "I-t m-a-y t-a-k-e t-i-m-e, b-u-t o-n-e d-a-y I a-m c-on-v-i-n-c-e-d w-e-w-i-l-l b-e a-b-l-e t-o s-e-e i-n-t-o t-h-e m-i-n-d o-f G-o-d" Although when asked whether anyone could catch Cheslea in this season's Premiership, he appeared clueless.

Even more Vorderman: "Carole tests out the latest string theory....and finds it wanting."

Ruu-bi-ku is available in major retailers now.

Love on y'all,


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