Tuesday, 22 November 2005
The Return of Kaplinsky Watch!!! Part II: The Night Watch!
The Kaplinsky by day: Natasha in her natural habitat, surrounded by prey.
Since she made way for Sian Williams on the BBC Breakfast News sofa/lounger-type arrangement, we here at Swipe Towers have been positively deluged with requests for a reprise of our ever-popular Kaplinsky Watch updates. I know what animal lovers you Brits are, but Jeez! - even I was bowled over by the response. But, as many of you know, since her move to the Six O'Clock News anchor slot, sightings of newsgirl Natasha have been rare.
Thanks to unbelievable advances in in infra-red night-vision camera technology, our new Kaplinskycam will enable us to bring you up-to-the-minute bulletins direct from the heart of the news lair of the now mainly nocturnal Natasha's movements - and believe me they make great viewing even though, like her, we can barely see a thing!!
So, without further adddy-addy-oo, here's the lowdown on the most recent sighting....
Kaplinkycam 6:15 PM: The Kaplinsky safely ensconced in the news lair tending to its young.
Attire: doublebreasted suit top, bandage wrap boob tube.
Carrot deficiency signs: possibly, data too raw to be precise. Estimate 7 short of a bunch.
Alagiah eclipse duration: 3 min. 40 sec.
Leg feasibility: 4.3%
We'll be keeping you posted over the next few weeks when, with the prediction of a harsh winter, we are hoping to be able to observe Kaplinsky preparing for hibernation and perhaps even watch her taking part in a few daring scavenging treks over to next door's refuse sacks!
Kaplinsky watch is a non-profit organisation which aims to preserve the natural habitats in which these notoriously timid creatures thrive in the hope that stocks can be brought back to EU minimum requirement levels by 2010. For more information, email: firstname.lastname@example.org