This week: Kirsty Wark
In the first of a series of in-depth interviews with the people who shape the way we understand the world around us, Roberta Swipe speaks to the journalistic force behind BBC’s Newsnight programme. In a candid interview, Roberta probes the canny Scot for her views on the pressing issues of the day. The exchange is hard-hitting and no holds barred - and very revealing!
Roberta Swipe: Kirsty. First, I'd just like to say, your hair is looking particularly lovely today. And that's a beautiful colour you have there. Would I be right in saying it's chestnut?
Kirsty Wark: I believe so, Roberta. It's out of a bottle - from Boots. I forget the brand.
RS: Fantastic, Kirsty. And, while we're on the subject, do you use any particular after care products - conditioners or what have you?
KW: I usually stick with Salon Select for dry and unmanagable hair. It's so gentle on the scalp - there's nothing worse than a blizzard of danny when you're trying to keep the viewers interested in the fluctuations in the trade deficit and the ins and outs of high street spending.
RS: I can imagine. Now Kirsty, while I could sit and talk all day about the relative merits of a variety of hair-care products, I really must press you on a far more serious subject.
KW: Fire away wee lassie....
RS: Tell me Kirsty, what do you wear under that desk? You're always so nicely turned out on top but we never get to see your under carriage. Pantyhose or hold ups, lady?
KW: Wow, Roberta! You don't hold back, do you? Well, it really depends on the subjects we're going to cover and who I'm interviewing. For instance, if it's a head of state, I'll wear something like this:
It's always a good tip to have something up your sleeve if they start stonewalling you. I've never known a quick flash ot the stocking tops to fail! Whereas, if it's a junior minister from some no-mark department that Gordon Brown's about to freeze expenditure for well into the next fiscal cycle, I'll tend to make less of an effort:
Obviously, when I'm doing a face to face, I like to show off as much leg as I can - within the bounds of decency, of course! When I interviewed the newly elected head of the Iraqi administration, I went for chocolate opaques with a spiral pattern and a little check-patterned leather mini - well, he can't get much of a thrill dodging booby trapped limos and suicide bomber insurgents, can he?
RS: What's the atmosphere like in the Newsnight studio? I mean, do you actually get on with Martha Kearney, or does a little bitchiness inevitably creep in when two clever, sexy and powerful women are locked together in a hot studio for hours on end?
KW: No, away with you. Martha and me are like that. We have a reet auld laugh together.She's quite a hoot - especially after a dozen Red Bull and voddies! She's always after me to tag along to her grab-a-granny nights when we sign off the show, but some of us do have families to look after you know!
RS: Kirsty, it's been a pleasure talking to you.
KW: The pleasure's all been mine, Roberta.
Next week: Selina Scott.
Love on y'all,
Roberta
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