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Monday, 21 November 2005

Minister for Women urges more modesty as survey finds one in three blame victims for rape

Yo Swipesters!!

More encouraging news regarding the deep-rooted humanity of the Great British Public as a survey reveals that one in three believe that women who have been raped were 'asking for it'. Ever eager to capitalise upon an irrational, hateful mob gut reaction, the government is planning to legislate to eforce more modest standards of dress and behaviour among the country's tarts so that they are less likely to bring misfortune upon themselves with the foolish and reckless womanly ways.

Government biologists have long warned that merely by possessing buxom breasts, shapely legs and ankles and long, lustrous hair that cascades like a sensuous waterful down their elegantly tapered necks, women are deliberately provoking good, honest red-blooded males to overpower them in a loveless display of arrogant male power that demeans and traumatises the victim. Using evidence gathered in the recently liberated Iraq, where women have begun to discard the western style clothes they were forced into wearing under Saddam Hussein in favour of more traditionally modest attire and cases of rape have fallen correspondingly, researchers are pushing the government to implement a similar cultural shift in the UK.

We feel the results of the Iraqi experiment offer an exceptionally strong argument to tame the pernicious provocations of these cock-teasing strumpets", said a Scientist who refused to be named. "They think they can trick us into a life of sinful debauchery with their coy glances and

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