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Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Kaplinsky watch

No 2,453 Monday, 19th September

Attire: Pink power pants/suit type thing.

Shoes: Matching slingbacks - scuffed. (Walls? Bedposts?)

Hair: 10.8 on the PHBMS (Post-Honeymoonlong Bonkathon/Mussing Scale)

Eyes: Beatific longing, to the point of appearing retarded.

Last week's motto: "'till the wheels come off/ungh ungh ungh...etc." - think Lawley/fax machine/jellyfish.

Demeanour: Cat who just got the cream and one almighty apocalypse of a humping.

Smile effort estimate: -77.9 %

Turnbull annoyance factor: Bill who?

Kaplinsky watch is a non-profit organisation. Every time you call 0898 288 666 3777 2666 we will be donating 0.00006 cent to the Katrina Hurricane Relief Fund. Together we can stop this degrading, barbaric and pointless sport (and buy several mops and some sponges).

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