Another terrible day here at Swipe Towers. We're all gathered around our monitors staring on in disbelief at what the BBC make up department is doing to one of our favourite ever newscasters/television journalists. And this so soon after the Kaplinksy business...
Basically, this is what Kate looked like before those dykey butchers got their hands on her:
And now look at her!:
That's Kate on the left, by the way.
So, we need to act and act fast. Through the coming weeks, we will be monitoring the stability of Kate's condition and I promise to bring you any news of further developments - outbreaks of plumage, beak extension, silly school caps or attempts at flight etc. - as and when they occur. My God, this is a tough one!
In an unrelated development, we here at Swipe Towers have discovered that Ollie Beak is a far from PC piece of Cockernee Rhyming slang.
Love on y'all - especially all my good friends in the Sikh community,
p.s. F.A.O. Brian I treated myself. Just had to: