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Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Madonna fall/Cricket touts

Hi Swipettes!

Sorry to hear of the injuries suffered by singer, actress, child author, mother of Christ, Madonna Ritchie while out riding yesterday.Sounds like it was quite a nasty tumble and Madge has suffered a couple bad buises, cracked ribs and the whole things is very unfortunate and upsetting. We obviously wish her a very speedy recovery and hope she's (if you'll pardon the expression) back in the saddle very, very soon. Of course, her misery was compounded by the fact that she was leading the field by a short nose when she came a-cropper. Still, I suppose we should look on the bright side - at least the accident didn't occur when she was firing her twelve bore shotgun at those pesky grouse the other day! That could have been nasty. Anyway, better luck next time out, Madge.

Still on a sporting theme, as a proud Welsh woman all fired up by the Messers Jones's recent performances for England against Australia in the current N-Power Ashes test series, I have to vent spleen on an alarming scam that's been brought to my attention of late. As many of you will know, the form of England heroes like Andrew "Freddie" Flinthoff and Marcus Aurelius has brought thousands of new fans to the ancient and longwinded game of cricket. So much so, that demand for tickets to the next test match at Trent Bridge is pretty darn high. This has led to an appaling and unprincipled degree of racketeering by which evil, child-molesting touts have been putting their golddust-like tickets up for auction on ebay and fetching astronomical prices. One over-excited cricket fiend paid over 9 billion euros for a berth outside the ground (!!) where he could stand in a bowl of cold tapioca pudding and listen to the game on a portable radio. Old traditions die hard, it would seem. "It's worth every penny and I'd have paid twice that to stand in a bordering county blindfold", claimed the pathetic arse when asked why he was spazzing his hard earned in such a pathetic manner. The English Cricket Board, in a strongly worded statement issued by David Collier, deplored the greedy, lust for money that is motivating evil, racketeers to flog tickets to the highest bidder in an orgy of cash guzzling self interest:

"We deplore the greedy, lust for money that is motivating evil, racketeers to flog tickets to the highest bidder in an orgy of cash guzzling self interest"

In a completely unrelated development, the ECB has revealed that it is set to build on the current renewal of interest in Britain's 19th most popular ball game by selling the rights for future test broadcasts to Sky Sports. Sky was the highest bidder in a competition which will see free, national, terrestrial broadcaster Channel 4 lose its current deal to the subscription only, niche market satelite broadcaster.

Keep up the good work guys!

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