Ferry Anger at “Apocalyptic” Energy Policy.

Ferry: ".....where's wor windmills, like?"

Roxy Music frontman Bryan Ferry has attacked what he sees as the “suicidal” inability of world leaders to act on global climate change. The singer, himself the son of a Newcastle miner, was scathing about the lack of action on carbon emissions and the heavy reliance of the world’s major economies on fossil fuels. “Wor Dad were a miner, like pet. Aye, he were a canny sight, mind, ganin’ back from pit wi’ his face cacked in soot, like one ae wor Black ‘n’ White Minstrels, why aye. Daft old beggar’d be that starving when he gan hoom, he’d start eatin’ wor fish ‘n’ wor chips afore he’d had a chance tae tek summa wor cool dust off wor hands. Wud watch as wor pop shovelled down wor scran, and as much blinkin’ soot happen as like supper. It were reet disgustin’, mind. But wuz gan have tae change uz ways noo, man. Wuz gan burn in a funeral pyre of wor own mekin’ if wuz not careful”, snapped the dilettante of 70s pop. “If wuz ganin’ aboot destroyin’ wor planet, it’s a reet canny job wuz makin’ ae it, why aye hinny.”


The Pits: "It's grim up wor toon"

Whilst saddened by the decline during the 1980s of the mining communities in which he grew up, Ferry accepted the need for change but blasted the failure to invest in alternative energy sources. “Where’s wor windmills? Where’s wor sea-powered generators like? Nae cash, izzit pet? Haddaway and shite there’s nae cash. Nae bloody will s’mair like it. Yuz never gan tell uzz wor Geordie Bush canny rustle up a few bob fer wor wee bairns’ futures, like? Fook off!”


Ferry: ".....where's wor will, Geordie?"

Ferry’s outburst comes amidst growing concerns that the ever-increasing accessibility of cheap flights to the masses is having an incalculably detrimental effect on the ozone layer – the planet’s fragile insulation from the harsh elements of outer space and the immense power of the sun’s rays. Ferry was unequivocal about the need for action “It’s alreet ganin’ on wor four or five halidays a year tae wor Amazona, like pet. But summat’s gan hev tae gie. Wor Ryan Air and wor Easy Jet maight gie wuz wor cheap geddaways in wor sun, bet think on wor effects on wor environment, like. It’s bloomin’ madness, mind.” Asked how he himself would be altering his millionaire jet-set lifestyle, the rock legend was adamant, “Me? Ah’ve jest had wor inflatable doll installed in wor dream home and she’s a reet canny lass, mind. And as wor lass is made oot ae manmade plastic, she’ll nae need much heatin’ - even in wor harsh Tyneside winters, like. What else, like? Well, Baby Jane maight well be in Acapulco, reet anuff, but ye’ll niver find wor Bryan Ferry gan flyin’ doon tae Rio these days, man pet!”


Baby Jane: "...in Acapulco"