Legendary Hollywood director Steven Spielberg has revealed plans to bring the life story of T.s. Eliot, conidered by many to be the greatest poet of the 20th Century, to the silver screen in an epic new production. The new film, T.S.: Thomas Stearns, will dramatise the life of the American-born poet who wrote most of his great works whilst living in England, and is expected to focus on the human story behind the verse - in particular his tumultuous marriage to English aristocrat Vivien Haigh-Wood.
Eliot: "phone home"
The couple, played by real life husband and wife T.V. stars Vernon Kay and Tess Daly, endured a fraught relationship and the deeply disturbed Vivien is thought to have inspired many of Eliot's darker poems. For many, the character of McCavity the Mystery cat from Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats is thought to have been modelled closely on the poet's wife. Vivien was renowned for her habit of curling up in a small patch of sunlight or stretching out in front of a warm hearth for hours on end, before miaowing loudly and feigning affection in an insincere attempt to procure a bowl of Sheba only to pad off and retire to quiet corner having been fed. She is also believed to have used the pseudonym "The Hidden Paw" - particularly when signing cheques.
Tess: "My nerves are bad tonight, Vern"
"Vivien was a complex character to bring to life, that's for sure", said the multiple Oscar-winning director films such as Jaws, The Color Purple, Schindler's List and E.T. "She was never happier than when she was asleep in the warmest part of the house, dreaming of catching mice or playing with her scratching post. But boy that bitch could turn ugly if you kept her waiting too long for her Whiskas with rabbit", admitted Spielberg as he nursed the scratch marks on his wrists acquired during the preliminary shoots.
Vernon: "Dec, I never knew Ant & Dec had undone so many...."
Whilst some critics have questioned the necessity of utilising a multi-million dollar blockbuster budget in order to film the story of a poet’s life and work, Spielberg remains confident that there will be a large audience for the film’s epic set pieces. At the heart of the movie is a bold interpretation of Eliot’s modernist masterpiece, The Wasteland. The adaptation is filmed entirely from the perspective of the poem’s key narrative voice, “Blind Tiresias”, played by Big Brother star, Jade Goody.
Goody: "Blind drunk Tiresias"
T.S.: Thomas Stearns climaxes with Tom Hanks featuring in a graphic re-enactment of some of Eliot’s most famous lines, the opening stanzas from his early work, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock:
Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table
“Tom’s a fine actor and he spent a lot of time researching the role – he spent days under anaesthetic being operated on by Harley Street’s finest surgeons just so he could give of his best for these scenes”, said a clearly delighted Spielberg. “Obviously, there’s a lot you can do with CGI nowadays, but for my money, you still can’t beat the sight of a great screen actor lying comatose on an operating table in the middle of a whacking great field for tension and excitement.”
Hanks: "consumate pro rehearses for crucial scene"
T.S.: Thomas Stearns opens next year in cinemas throughout Britain. The sequel, Four Quartets of the Third Kind is currently in pre-production.
Love on y’all,