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Monday, 17 October 2005

Morton Shadows’ World of Pop.

Yo-di-doo-di folks,

Another great week in the world of contemporary pop, rounded up by me, Morton Shadows, for lil ol' you!

Thompson denies “Franz Ferdinand drummer slur”.

Paul Thompson: "CPL 593H"

Original Roxy Music drummer Paul Thompson has angrily denied that he is moonlighting with over-hyped journeymen Franz Ferdinand. In a statement issued by his record label EG, Thompson claimed that the stories of his involvement with the poncified Scottish art-rockers had very nearly led to the break-up of the recently reformed 70s art rock group. “Bryan, Phil, Andy and Eddie Jobson were obviously gutted at the thought that I’d joined that pretentious bunch of twats. Ferry was particularly livid. He said to us, ‘we’re in a different league to those arty-farty toffs. Just look at wor artwork for a start. How can you compare some second-rate Kurt Schwitters-style collage with Jerry Hall, in her prime, dressed up as a scantily clad mermaid sprawling over some rocks? Or two busty teutonic maidens with their baps out snapped at a garden party by Justin de Villeneuve? I nearly popped wor cork when I set eyes on the proofs of Country Life. And as for the canny bird taking her pet panther for a walk on For Your Pleasure…

Roxy Cover Artwork: "Fookin' great"

Why aye man, there’s no contest, is there?’ He told me later that he’d thought about laying one on me, only to remember that I used to be a hod-carrier, so I’m built like a brick shithouse, me. It’s all been smoothed over now, like, but it was nip and tuck as to whether we’d split at one point.”

Roxy Music’s new single, a collaboration with Banarama called Pyjamabananramazona, is released on Monday….

Brittain, Brittain, Brittain…

Meanwhile, in the Franz Ferdinand camp, the revelations have only served to highlight tensions within the Scottish chart-toppers whose current LP, You Could Have it so Much Better has now gone platinum. The band’s actual drummer, Sir Leon Brittain

Sir Leon Brittain: "Euro-dick"

has fallen out with singer Alex Kapranos over European policy. Said Brittain, "I want a Franz Ferdinand that’s at the very heart of Europe – both as members of the European Economic Community and working with our partners politically to build a better world. After all, we owe Europe a hell of a lot, don’t we? We took our name from an Austro-Hungarian arch-duke and we pinch all our artwork ideas off the great Dada artists and they were all Jerrys, weren’t they?

Huelsenbeck: "Jerry Pig Dog"

We sell a shitload of albums on the continent and have a huge following there, but Alex just can’t see it. He says we should pull out of Europe, put an end to Brussels interference in our legislative processes and pursue our economic interests with the Americans in an Atlantic trading group. Sometimes, I wonder if he isn’t motivated purely by age-old prejudices and petty hatreds of our European neighbours. In fact, I often wonder just what century the man is living in". Kapranos, who has some Greek ancestry by the sound of it, was unbowed by his bandmate’s criticisms. “I bloody hate foreigners, me. England for the English, I say. And I’m Scottish, so I should know…”

Kapranos: "Lanarkshire for the Lanarks"

The band’s tour of Lanarkshire continues this month…

Keep on rockin' in the highlands and keep your sad eyed lady in the lowlands!


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