Monday, 3 October 2005
Former Sex Pitol, John Lydon (A.K.A. Johnny Rotten) is being detained under suspicion of manslaughter, it can be revealed. Lydon is charged with causing the death of BBC Radio DJ and Heaven & Earth Show interviewer, Emma B. during the recording of a discussion of the punk legend's upbringing and spiritual beliefs for the new age lifestyle show, screened on BBC last Sunday.
Lydon was unavailable for comment but a spokesperson said, "it was all going swimmingly well - Emma was a bit apprehensive at first - well, you would be, wouldn't you? - but they seemed to be really hitting it off after the ice had been broken. John was really turning on the charm and trying to put her at her ease and it seemed to be working out fine. Then she just, sort of, keeled over and next thing we knew she was being pronounced dead on arrival at the nearest hospital. Must have been the shock..."
Ms. B. is the latest in a long line of those to have died after interviewing Lydon. Bill Grundy has not worked since the infamous Granada swearathon during which he cajoled a stream of disgusting invective from the group live on air. Mancunian journalist Terry Christian is still in intensive care aftee Lydon suckered him into asking if Public Image Ltd. were fans of Country and Western Music. Lydon's reply that PiL were heavily influenced by Country music ("Well, we're c**ts trying") left the young broadcaster immobilised for several weeks and he can now only communicate through a series of small hand signals.
Love on y'all,